Together through the night
by Ocne
Summary: Obi-Wan did not follow Qui-Gon after Tahl's death. An AU for JA16. Warning for dark themes and one instance of images of rather graphic non-con sexual nature.
1. Chapter 1

A/N : This is my very first foray into Star Wars universe. And it is my first story written directly in English, which is not my native tongue. So, all advice and corrections are welcome.

Chapter 1

Homecoming

The night was chilly and quiet as master Qui-Gon Jinn paid his transport and stepped lightly onto the Temple grounds. He always went lightly – no small feat for a man of his size. He trod the garden path as silent as a ghost. He wished sometimes – the idea came almost as an afterthought - that his touch with… people… could be as smooth and light as his step.

The wind caught in his robes and whipped his hair. The Jedi smiled. He had been away for a long time. He had been alone. He had sought the solitude, but no more. His parting with Obi-Wan – there had been no parting. Qui-Gon had left, seeking vengeance. Tahl had died. In his arms.

Qui-Gon's steps slowed for a time. The master shook himself. No more vengeance, and no more isolation. His Padawan was here. Had been at the Temple, he too, alone, for over a year.

Qui-Gon had been a little surprised that Obi-Wan had not followed him back at the New Apsolon. It was not like Obi-Wan. That obstinate child - willful, headstrong, but kind and giving and bright. His little star, where life danced, shined, and bubbled with warmth and laughter. And yet Obi-Wan had let him go without a fight. Sometime later, much later, in fact, when the red shadow of death and wrath had lifted, Qui-Gon had been able to think straight again. He had learned that his apprentice had returned to the Temple with Mace Windu and Bant. Just like that.

_How very strange_, thought Qui-Gon again. _So unlike him._

Strange or not, the Jedi master neared his quarters with a smile. He opened the door and stood unblinking.

_So very strange._

The rooms were dark, quiet and empty with a cold emptiness. Qui-Gon switched the lights on. Everything was clean and ready for his return. Everything was as it has always been. Yet not. There was no trace of Obi-Wan's belongings. No data pads, no boots or shirts, no meditation mat. Nothing. As if Qui-Gon had dreamed himself an apprentice for the last four years. The Master stood for a while longer, his hands limp at his sides. He turned to go, but paused. It was the middle of the night. The answers will have to wait until morning.

Qui-Gon sat in his favorite chair, stretched his legs before him and leaned his head back.

Strange._ It's becoming a mantra of mine_, he mused wryly, eyes closed. But, yes, strange, strange, how home felt not as home at all.

Qui-Gon had looked forward to this moment with fondness and joy. The return, the reunion… He fell asleep seated, a little bit cold, with a furrow of unease upon his forehead.

* * *

Did you enjoy it? Did I bore you to tears? Please, tell me! Reviews are not only welcome. They will be treasured.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Misplaced Padawans

With the morning came the summons to appear before the council. Qui-Gon changed into a fresh set of clothes, washed away the uneasy sleep from his eyes, and went.

The council, again. Why, for everything else that Qui-Gon might have missed about the Temple, he hadn't missed this. The tension, the probing stares and the silence that stretched towards infinity. _Yoda's influence, surely_, Qui-Gon thought as he bowed, greeted the Masters and waited. _Yes, surely. Only Yoda could wait a lifetime and a half to simply ask how was his journey back._

'Qui-Gon, brings joy to my heart, your return.'

_Ah, you humble me._

'Thank you, Master,' Qui-Gon said simply.

Mace Windu was all business. No time to spare. Report about the mission. Qui-Gon did. No casualties? No. Success, then? Yes. Tell us… Qui-Gon did, about this, about that, calm and detached. The sun rays slanted through the windows and travelled on the floor by his feet. No time to spare. But the questions, that he had already answered in his written account, dragged on. Oh well, it was the way of the Council. It would end sooner or later. Sooner than later, Qui-Gon hoped.

He was a patient man. But Mace Windu was a thorough one. Master Jinn felt compelled to reconsider the wisdom of his return.

'Explain to as, please…'

Oh, Force. He wasn't _that_ patient.

'One more detail, if you please…'

The temptation to turn around, call a taxi and leave rose in Qui-Gon like a tidal wave. He smiled and spoke, as calm as a bright summer day.

'Of course, master Windu. The senator Narb is safe. Safely reunited with his family and is ready to resume his duties. The peace negotiations are concluded in a satisfactory manner. There are still factions who disagree, of course, but the planet's government decided that it was their duty to discipline their own. Hence, I am here.'

'And so you are,' agreed Mace Windu. 'I have no more questions.'

_Force be praised!_

'I do,' said Qui-Gon.

'Indeed?' asked Master Windu.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. 'Indeed,' he answered in a clipped tone. Then he released his breath and the tension behind it. 'Is my Padawan well?'

A hush fell on the room. Qui-Gon straightened his shoulders.

'I know that he is within the Temple walls. I can feel that much. But the bond has been silent for a long time. We had been far apart. I cannot reach Obi-Wan to know more.'

Yoda sighed and stood from his chair.

'Silent your bond is, you say, Qui-Gon. Far apart. Long time. Your Padawan here is. Returned to his own quarters, he has.'

'The initiates' wing?' asked Qui-Gon, unbelieving. 'Is he well?'

'Seek him out you must, or not. Know your own heart. Tell you more, I will not.'

Qui-Gon stared at his old master.

'If the council will give me leave,' he murmured.

'We do,' said Mace Windu. 'Go in peace, Qui-Gon.'

Peace was an alien notion, at the moment. Obi-Wan had moved out. Qui-Gon was still the boy's Master ; the bond told him that much. But Yoda's frown and Mace Windu's grim expression spurred the Jedi on. Something was wrong. He went down to the initiates' wing with swift strides. There, across the hallway, he remembered, were Obi-Wan's room. Qui-Gon halted before the door.

« Initiate Naat » read the sign.

Qui-Gon stood still for a moment, then raised his hand and knocked. A very small and furry initiate opened him. He got a glimpse of bright green eyes in a feline face before the girl ducked her head.

'Master Jinn,' she said in an awed whisper.

Her russet tail curled around her left wrist. She looked up at him briefly, intimidated. She stood as high as his waistband. Qui-Gon came down on one knee and the girl drew in a sharp, surprised breath. Her ears pricked up a little.

'How can I help you, Master Jinn?'

'I am looking for Padawan Kenobi, initiate Naat. I wonder if you could help me.'

The girl smiled.

'Of course, Master Jinn. The first door to the right, right at the end of the corridor. When Obi-Wan came back, I already was here. He didn't want me to move, so he took a spare room. I have his flying models!'

A golden spark lit her eyes as she laughed.

'Thank you,' said Qui-Gon.

He stood to go. Naat followed him.

'But Obi-Wan is never there anymore,' she called out, trying to catch up to his long strides.

Qui-Gon stood still as his heart thudded once, strongly, in his chest. He turned to face the girl.

'Why not?' he asked.

She shrugged and scratched at her forehead with a claw-like paw.

'I don't know.'

'Where could he be then, initiate Naat? Would you know?'

She thought for a moment, furrowing her brow, ears twitching. Her tail shot up like an arrow.

'The crèche, I think!'

'Why?' repeated Qui-Gon.

She shook her head.

'I don't know, Master Jinn.'

'Thank you, little one.'

The crèche, then, releasing the strain and the threatening headache as he went. Another thirteen levels down, and Qui-Gon proceeded with caution, because he towered as a giant now over the swirl of the laughing and bouncing children. Oh, joy. He found a corner that the ebb of screeching life seemed to skirt around. What has he gotten himself into? What in all the galaxies was Obi-Wan doing here? And where was he? Nowhere to be found, naturally. Qui-Gon pinched the bridge of his nose.

'Padawan!' he growled under his breath.

The bond lay inside him, silent as a dark lake. Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a second. _Something_ was not wrong. Nothing was right. He pushed away from the wall and went outside, where snowflakes tumbled from the sky and the ground was white and quiet. Voices murmured around the bend of the path. Qui-Gon heard laughter, then a squeal of delight.

'You promise, Obi? You promise?'

His missing Padawan was kneeling by a frozen fountain side. Three boys looked into the youth's eyes, expectant as young birds that awaited nourishment from their mother bird.

'You promise? A tale tonight, and you'll show us how to build a snow castle tomorrow?'

Obi-Wan reached a hand to their reddened cheeks, each boy in turn, with a gentle and soothing touch.

'Of course I do. If you promise to sleep tonight as soon as you are sleepy. And if you promise to tell me, tomorrow, if you start getting cold.'

'And we'll go skating too, yes, Obi-Wan? Please, say yes!'

Obi-Wan laughed.

'Well, yes, then. But only if your crèche Master is willing.'

The children threw their hands around him.

'You know he is, when it is you.'

They flew off, a small and noisy flock. Obi-Wan watched them go with a smile.

Qui-Gon watched him. The Jedi Master saw his apprentice climb slowly, awkwardly to his feet. Obi-Wan swayed, then leaned against the fountain wall, eyes closed, his face white with pain. Qui-Gon stood still, his gaze fixed on the boy. Finally, the bond stirred to life like a frightened, caged animal. The Master felt his Padawan. And the Padawan felt the Master.

Obi-Wan's eyes flew open. Surprise. Joy, mingled with sadness. Then a smile, and Obi-Wan was limping towards him, color returning to his face.

'Master Jinn. I have not heard of your return.'

The Master's eyes widened at the formality of the greeting.

'Obi-Wan,' he said. 'Padawan, I have been looking for you.'

The smile on Obi-Wan's face faded. Qui-Gon's words came to a stop.

* * *

That's it for now. Thank you for reading. Did you like the chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Frozen

_New Apsolon. 13 months ago._

_They waited for Qui-Gon in the room next to the one where Tahl's body rested. Master Mace Windu and Padawans Bant Eerin and Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in silence. Qui-Gon Jinn had yet to appear, but they were patient, giving the grieving Jedi time. They all grieved in their own way. Bant for her Master. Mace Windu for a colleague and a friend. Obi-Wan was unsure what he felt, anymore. First, Tahl had passed away like a gentle summer wind. Obi-Wan had always liked her. Then there was Qui-Gon, who was not dead, but who neither looked nor spoke like himself. Who had lost interest in the living. Unfortunately, Qui-Gon's Padawan fell into that category. And there was Bant, hurt and unforgiving. Obi-Wan let his eyes drop to the floor. He was cold. Why wasn't his Master coming?_

_A droid appeared instead._

'_The Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn has left,' it announced in its metallic voice. 'He requests that you proceed without him, from now on.'_

_No emotion whatsoever. Who needed emotions when the cold was overwhelming? Obi-Wan rose numbly to his feet. Mace Windu and Bant were already standing._

'_Left,' repeated the apprentice._

_He took a step towards the closed door where his Master had been. _

'_Left?'_

_Pain ripped through him. Obi-Wan stumbled. His injured leg buckled and he would have fallen if not for Mace Windu. The Jedi Master caught him by the shoulders._

'_Obi-Wan, look at me.'_

_The boy obeyed._

'_Is it your leg?'_

_Was it? Wasn't it healed? The ache spread. It came from higher up also, from his chest. Mace Windu's gaze grew dark._

'_Has Qui-Gon severed the bond?' he asked._

_Obi-Wan gasped. 'No…!' he managed to say before the agony stole his breath._

_Fiery, throbbing pain, followed by the cold and the numbness. Mace Windu's grip on him tightened and shifted as the Jedi Master lifted the apprentice in his arms._

'_Obi-Wan, breathe.'_

_The words seemed to come from a great distance. Obi-Wan lifted his head with an effort._

'_Master?'_

_Windu's face was grim._

'_It will be all right, Obi-Wan. You will be all right.'_

_Mace Windu turned towards Bant, who stood a few paces away._

'_Come,' he ordered._

* * *

Coruscant. The Jedi Temple. Present.

'Walk with me, please?' asked Qui-Gon Jinn.

'It will be my pleasure.'

Qui-Gon paused to consider the youth. Indeed, will it be so? Silence hung between them like a living, uneasy presence. Qui-Gon stole a glance at his apprentice's face. White cheeks, lips pressed together in a hard line, downcast eyes. A closed, far off expression. Qui-Gon turned around and headed for a portal towards a more temperate place. Obi-Wan followed wordlessly. They had played here as children, both of them, at different times. They knew the layout more than by heart.

The garden that opened up before them was worm and glowing. There was water and flowers, here. Little streams ran between grass and bushes. Birds flew and sang. Obi-Wan should be more at ease, here.

They sat down on a bench, side by side, with no hint of ease between them as of yet. There was a frozen core in the boy, Qui-Gon realized, that had nothing to do with the winter outside. Something deep. Not dark, but the whisper of the Force was hushed.

'How are you, Obi-Wan?'

The boy discarded his warm coat.

'I'm fine.'

Qui-Gon schooled his features into a blank mask. A different answer would have been surprising, decided the Master. His apprentice blinked, then broke the gaze and turned to look straight ahead, at a grey brick wall.

'You didn't have to move out, Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon said quietly. 'Our quarters are your home too.'

'No, they are not,' came the flat reply.

'Why not?'

'You tell me.'

It was the Master's turn to blink.

'Initiate Naat told me you're never at the initiate's wing, anymore. Are you well here, with the crèche Masters and the children?' Qui-Gon asked after a moment.

'Yes.'

Every line of the boy's body was taut with caution. Where was gone the initial joy at the sight of his Master?

'I will not force you to come back, if that is not your wish, Obi-Wan.'

The boy lifted his chin, eyes blazing.

'Good! Because you can't force me, Qui-Gon.'

Qui-Gon nodded his acceptance. Neither said a word for a time, until Obi-Wan shifted and some of the tension went out of him. He thawed a little.

'What happened?' Qui-Gon asked, motioning to the boy's leg.

The apprentice gave him a crooked half-smile.

'Gives the words 'journey towards knighthood' a whole new meaning, huh?'

'Obi-Wan, please, tell me.'

Obi-Wan squirmed, then sighed.

'Oh well. If I don't, you'll just go talk to the healers. Guess I might as well spare you the trip to their holly hell.' He realized he was rambling and sighed again, with displeasure and defeat. 'Permanent damage,' he said at last.

Qui-Gon turned with a start.

'What? How?'

_Why? It can't be. It shouldn't be!_ _Calm yourself, now._

Qui-Gon bent his roiling emotions to his will with a ruthlessness he had never used on any of his apprentices.

'You mean,' the Master said, taken aback, 'that that wound from New Apsolon…?'

He stopped. Tahl's memory swept between them like a knife and they both looked away. The bright garden dimmed. Grief surged and swelled, twisting Qui-Gon's heart in its grip. The Jedi struggled with the pain. His Padawan was there, right beside him, and the boy was more important than his despair. The boy was more important than the past. Should always have been. Qui-Gon caught his breath. He might be a Jedi Master, it did not make him perfect. _Well_, he reflected dryly, _lets hope it makes me, at least, honest with myself._ He saw that his Padawan looked at him, features shadowed with grief, sorrow and compassion. Qui-Gon could have slapped himself.

'But the healer, Yanci,' he stammered. 'She said you were healed.'

Obi-Wan shrugged. 'I guess I wasn't.'

'And the healers here?'

They were highly competent. There was something that could be done, surely.

Obi-Wan read his thoughts as clearly as if Qui-Gon had spoken aloud.

'No,' said the boy. 'There's nothing to be done.' He scowled. 'It's not like they didn't try.'

'Obi-Wan?'

His Padawan waved a tired hand, then flashed a sudden grin at Qui-Gon.

'I remember little of the first two months after Master Windu brought me here. The healers tried their best. I guess I should be grateful. But after three months of such… attention, one starts to feel the urge to grab one's lightsaber and chop limbs off. Starting with one's own.'

The boy's humor was like a tiny ripple on the surface of a dark pond. Underneath, Qui-Gon felt the hurt and the weariness so deep rooted that, for a moment, the winter's chill settled on the Master's soul as well. As if it had ever truly left.

_Three months… Oh, Force!_

Qui-Gon reached out to his apprentice. He touched Obi-Wan's cold cheek, then squeezed his knee, careful not to cause pain.

'I'm sorry, Padawan.'

Obi-Wan had held still under the touch. He scrambled to his feet at those words.

'You know what hurts the worst?' he asked, shrugging into his coat. 'That I can't even be angry at you. If our places were switched, I would have done exactly the same thing.'

* * *

Thank you for reading! Did you like the chapter? Please, let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Thawing

Their first parting had been awkward, full with tension of words both said and left unspoken. But if Obi-Wan had hoped that Qui-Gon would leave their relationship at that, the Padawan had sadly underestimated his Master's willful stubbornness. There wasn't a day that passed without Qui-Gon seeking out his company. The Master came in the evenings, when the children, settled for sleep, listened contentedly to the stories of old times. The great Jedi of old walked again the fields of their glory, foes fleeing before their grace and power. The Padawans were born to accomplish great deeds. They served and fought and earned their Trials.

The stars blinked through the windows. The snow shone. The dormitory was full of waking dreams as the children turned awed gazes at the big Jedi sitting silent near the door. Unmoving in the light of the moon and the stars, with his calm hands and fierce eyes, Master Qui-Gon Jinn appeared to them the image of the heroes of old. Nothing could shatter his peace. Nothing could stand against him. And his Padawan was at his side.

The waking dreams turned to dreams under the crèche Master's careful guidance. The sound of soft breathing filled the room. Qui-Gon stood, his presence quiet in the Force, as to not disturb the sleeping children. Obi-Wan followed him out the door.

They had settled into a routine of sorts. The evenings were theirs to spend in each others company. It had been uncomfortable at the beginning. It still often was, as Obi-Wan refused to be pacified.

'Would you take tea with me?' Qui-Gon offered.

'No.'

'All right. Not in our quarters, then. The cafeteria?'

'No.' Obi-Wan paused before squeezing out a sullen, 'Thank you.'

'Are you hungry?'

'No.'

'How long has it been since you sparred?'

Obi-Wan let out an outburst of laughter.

'Sparred? Look at me, Qui-Gon. There are days I can hardly walk.'

'But not today. Today you are better.'

'Yes. Better.'

'Then come and spar with me. I miss it, Obi-Wan.'

Obi-Wan rose from the bench they had claimed as their own over the course of the last few weeks. He whirled on the older man, fury in his eyes. Something in Qui-Gon's expression made him take a step back and shield his face with both hands. When the hands came down, the anger was still there, but the hurt, the helplessness looked Qui-Gon straight in the face.

'Yes, Master Jinn. I will spar with you. So that you can see for yourself.'

Qui-Gon stood.

'See for myself, Obi-Wan?'

'You will need someone more competent for the missions. I will slow you down. You will dislike it.'

Qui-Gon saw the fleeting look of vulnerability on the boy's features. _Is that it?_ the Jedi Master thought. _He believes I will dislike him?_

'It's not like that, Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon said quietly.

Obi-Wan shrugged.

'Perhaps not while we stay in the Temple. But on a mission, it will be.'

They talked no more until the training grounds. The rooms were empty at this hour. The two Jedi took off their heavy robes and stood in front of each other, lightsabers lit.

'I have missed this,' said Qui-Gon.

'So did I,' replied Obi-Wan.

His anger was gone. There was something in Obi-Wan now of the boy he had been before his injury and Tahl's death. The sharp attention, the need to do his best and then do better, the joy to follow the lead of a master swordsman. Obi-Wan gave himself entirely to this slow, careful duel. And Qui-Gon, moved by the boy's gift, had to fight off sudden tears. Obi-Wan might not move with his usual speed or grace, anymore. But the alertness, the wish to learn, to take and to give, too, were there. The Master had finally found his Padawan. And the Padawan was acutely happy as they circled each other, thrust, parried, tangled their swords and their thoughts.

Obi-Wan's face glistened with sweat when they came finally apart. His Master was radiant. Obi-Wan lowered his gaze. Maybe Qui-Gon still wanted him as an apprentice. The stubborn, foolish man. But the apprentice knew better than the Master. There was no way around the verdict of the healers. Just no way. Obi-Wan wouldn't endanger his Master's life by being a burden to him, an easy target, someone to protect instead of someone to rely upon.

Obi-Wan blinked and shook his head. Qui-Gon stood before him, calm and happy. But a frown formed on the man's forehead as he observed his apprentice. Had Qui-Gon sensed the walls come up again? The communion was over. Obi-Wan turned away to retrieve his coat. Two large hands on his shoulders stopped him.

'Thank you,' said the Master.

Obi-Wan was unable to hide his sadness.

'Now you see for yourself, Qui-Gon.'

'Padawan, you did well. I could not have asked for more.'

Obi-Wan laughed, though there was little joy in the sound.

'Well? You did the work for the both of us, Master. If that was your purpose, then I suppose we both did well.'

Obi-Wan took a step away. Qui-Gon let him go.

'Would you like to join me for a meal tomorrow?' the Master asked.

'Maybe another day.'

The next evening, Qui-Gon opened the crèche doors, gazed at the little beds and sparkling eyes, turned on his heels and stalked out. Obi-Wan wasn't there. Qui-Gon came looking for him in the warmth of the climate accommodated garden, where the flowers tipped their heads for the night and the birds' songs whispered and sighed. The boy sat on their bench, staring blankly at the ground.

'The children are not asleep, yet,' Qui-Gon told him.

Obi-Wan jerked a little.

'I know,' he said without meeting the older Jedi's eyes. 'I will not be returning to the crèche, after today.'

Qui-Gon studied him a moment before sitting down at his side.

'Why?'

Obi-Wan shook his head.

'Padawan, you can talk to me.'

Obi-Wan sighed.

'I know, Qui-Gon. I just… I… I don't know, Master. I don't know anything, anymore.' His breath caught. Obi-Wan lowered his head, curling into himself. 'Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? It doesn't… Nothing makes sense, anymore, Master.'

Qui-Gon's gaze on him was as steady and warm as sunlight.

'Tell me what happened today, Padawan,' he demanded.

Obi-Wan obeyed. He had no one else to turn to, and this man had offered him shelter and kindness for almost as long as the boy had known him.

'Today we went skating. The children, I mean. Just them and me, for the first time. The crèche Masters trusted me enough to take care of the kids.'

Obi-Wan frowned. His head finally rose. He fixed Qui-Gon with a shadowed, confused stare. Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow.

'Their trust is well placed and well earned, Padawan. I trust you with my life. I would trust you with the children's care too.'

Obi-Wan's face twisted.

'You shouldn't. And they shouldn't have, either.'

There was pain in his voice. Qui-Gon waited.

'It was such a beautiful day,' whispered Obi-Wan. 'The frozen lake is not far at all. There are snowy slopes and woods. The children laughed and played. And then men came out of the woods. Some with knives, some with blasters.'

Qui-Gon stilled. He probed through the bond, gently, to reassure himself that his apprentice was unharmed.

'What happened?' the Master asked.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

'I Force pushed them,' he confessed. 'They would have harmed the children. And I wouldn't have been fast enough, with the lightsaber. The men weren't hurt… much.' The boy turned, white faced, towards his Master. 'I scared the children, badly.'

'They weren't scared when I saw them just now,' countered Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan didn't answer.

'Do you want to come home?' said Qui-Gon.

'No.'

'Then where will you go?'

Obi-Wan thought for a moment.

'If the Council still wants me here, I'll have to find a place where I won't put others in danger. Maybe the healers ward. I have learned a little during my stay there. I could learn more. I… I have to go.'

He rose and strode away without looking back.

'Obi-Wan.'

The boy stopped, shoulders hunched.

'Yes, Master?'

'Just know that my door is always open, should you wish my presence.'

'Yes, Master. Thank you.'

It was but a whisper, a little warmth in the bond, and the boy was gone, trying to flee the demons he could not outrun.

The Jedi Master rose slowly to his feet. He saw little of his whereabouts as he made his way back to his quarters.

Obi-Wan stopped before reaching the healers wing. Was that what he truly wanted? The memories of the healers working on his leg rose unbidden. He did not wish to return to that place. Not if he could help it. He certainly did not wish to spend most of his life in there. What then? Where to go?

/My door is always open to you,/ said his Master's voice in his mind.

/You left,/ Obi-Wan murmured back. /You will leave again. I'm… I'm afraid./

/I'm sorry, Padawan. Some day, I might ask for your forgiveness. Some day, I might even deserve it. Obi-Wan, please let me help./

Obi-Wan stood still for a long time, searching his own heart. Finally, he headed for his Master's quarters. The apprentice knocked, unsure how to proceed, after such a long time. There was a pause and a stillness on the other side of the door. A feeling of dread coiled inside Obi-Wan's stomach.

'Master?' he called out softly.

After another endless pause, the door slid open, to reveal a man Obi-Wan did not know. Not a Jedi, not a Knight. He had curly brown hair, hazel eyes and a smile that did not lift the boy's spirits.

'Yes?' the man asked, as if him being there was a most natural thing.

'Who are you?'

Obi-Wan's voice was sharp. The man's smile turned stern.

'Someone more polite then you, apparently. Why Qui-Gon takes on such apprentices is truly beyond me.'

'Wh-Who are you?'

The man pressed his lips together and looked the boy over with disapproval.

'Qui-Gon's friend, who else? We don't see each other nearly often enough. You'll get your precious Master back. But tonight, he's mine. We have so much time to make up for. Be gone, boy.'

* * *

Ahem. I manage to write a slightly longer chapter, and this is the result. The story takes off sideways. And I'm left playing catch up.

What did you think? Like? Dislike? Please, let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The rescue

Qui-Gon's heart twisted when Obi-Wan had left after the brief argument. Oh, Force. Just when the boy had chosen to come back. Qui-Gon was powerless to stop him. The blasters to his head, he could deal with. But Qui-Gon could not ignore the explosives, placed somewhere in the bowels of the Temple, that would detonate should he, as his captors had put it, twitch wrong. Qui-Gon clenched his jaw, clasped his bound hands and called upon the serenity and the calm that evaded him.

The Force whispered for him to wait. He could do that. He was a Jedi. There, one instant had already passed. The next one stretched into an eternity of grief.

_I'm sorry, Obi-Wan._

Qui-Gon couldn't even let the thought reach their bond. He couldn't let the boy come back.

_I'm sorry._

The Force was singing sweetly : now, now, now.

Now - what? the Jedi wondered.

Now!

The door swung open, banged on the wall with a thunderous sound and Qui-Gon's five captors turned as one. They lifted off their feet nicely, made a beautiful trajectory that met and crashed into the wall of the living room. Then they slid down and lay in an ungraceful heap on the floor. Obi-Wan stood in the doorway, his lightsaber lit, his breathing harsh and fast.

'Nice friends,' the Padawan said in a clipped tone.

'Yes.' The ropes fell from Gui-Gon's wrists and ankles. The Jedi Master stood. 'Thank you, for not believing,' he said. 'These men have a detonator on them, somewhere. First to find it saves the Temple.'

Obi-Wan blinked, powered down his lightsaber and squatted next to the nearest thug.

'They're dressed like the men from the woods, today,' said the apprentice.

Qui-Gon gave him a sharp look. 'Indeed?'

His fingers never stopped browsing his former captors' pockets, sleeves and bags.

'I believe we have some talking to do,' said Obi-Wan.

'I believe so,' agreed the Master. 'Ah, there it is!' He pulled out carefully a small plastic detonator. 'Now, toys like this should be easy enough to deactivate. Yes... Yes, indeed.' Qui-Gon lifted his head and gave his apprentice an appreciative smile. 'Obi-Wan, I'm so glad to welcome you back. Our quarters are a bit more crowded than before. I hope you don't mind.'

'Would you mind doing some purging, Master?' replied Obi-Wan, matching Qui-Gon's wild mood.

'Not at all, Padawan. Should we begin?'

Qui-Gon contacted the security.

'Yes, a bomb,' he explained, succinct and precise. 'Yes, probably more than one. No, they did not tell me where. No, not why either, though that should not be difficult to figure out. I beg your pardon? Me, mocking you? Force forbid! Yes, five men. Yes, here. Be so kind to come and collect, please.'

Qui-Gon ended the communication and snorted. He gave Obi-Wan a sideway glance. 'The Council.'

A small viewscreen lit up, revealing Masters Yoda and Mace Windu.

'Qui-Gon,' Mace greeted neutrally as his eyes took in the apprentice standing to Qui-Gon's left and the bodies strewn on the floor in the background.

'Obi-Wan,' said Yoda.

Was there a distinct glee of… satisfaction in Yoda's eyes? Obi-Wan stared. Qui-Gon bowed.

'Masters,' he said, straightening up. 'Forgive me for disturbing you at such an hour. I will be brief.'

Yoda's ears perked up. The sight that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan presented to his eyes was certainly no disturbance for him.

Qui-Gon reported the attack and the rescue. Obi-Wan colored at the praise.

'My last mission is not as completed as I thought,' continued Qui-Gon. 'With your permission, Masters, I'll be on my way to see the senator Narb.'

Obi-Wan listened, spellbound.

'Granted,' said a sour-faced Mace Windu.

Qui-Gon bowed and ended the call, but not before Obi-Wan had heard a cackle of laughter from Master Yoda. The Padawan blinked, as if waking from a strange dream.

'You have been on a solo mission?' he asked.

Qui-Gon looked his apprentice straight in the face.

'Yes,' he replied. 'Several. I needed to, Padawan.'

Obi-Wan nodded.

'You did well,' he said, and meant the words.

Qui-Gon searched his Padawan's gaze for traces of hurt or betrayal. He found none and inclined his head. This maturity in his still boyish apprentice was new to the Master.

'We do need to talk, though,' said Obi-Wan.

A polite rap announced the arrival of the security team. Qui-Gon grabbed a cloak and two warm overcoats.

'We will. Come, Padawan, please.'

And despite his previous misgivings about being a burden to his Master, Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon out the door without as much as a thought of a protest.

* * *

Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hide

Obi-Wan limped after Qui-Gon through the empty corridors of the Temple. The Jedi Master glanced back and adjusted his gait to the boy's smoothly. Obi-Wan gritted his teeth. The doors swung soundlessly to let the two Jedi exit. The winter's breath finally cleared Obi-Wan's mind. He shook his head. He was almost eighteen. What had gotten into him today that he had lost his ability to reason so completely?

The attack on the children… But, no, Obi-Wan hadn't been able to think clearly for longer than that. He had been struggling with control ever since Qui-Gon's return. Absent for a year, Qui-Gon was always there now, offering to spar, to talk, to share meals. By his actions, the Master was asking the Padawan to return. Qui-Gon was asking for what they had once shared. Obi-Wan did not know if he wanted or could give it, any longer. He still yearned to be a Padawan. He still dreamed to, someday, become a Knight. The dreams and hopes that had illuminated his former path now lay dark and hollow in his chest. Obi-Wan wanted to remain detached towards Qui-Gon. But, at times, the anger came in hot, blinding waves. Obi-Wan had lost everything. Why couldn't Qui-Gon Jinn just leave him alone?

Today, after the attack on the children, Qui-Gon had offered Obi-Wan kindness. And Obi-Wan had lost control. What had he been thinking? Was he ready to move in with Qui-Gon? Be his Padawan again? Obi-Wan blinked. The cold wind was stinging his eyes. No. No, he didn't go to Qui-Gon's quarters this evening because he wanted to move in. He had went to clear things up between them.

_Really?_ whispered a thought. _Was that all that you wanted?_

Obi-Wan scowled. Qui-Gon had showed compassion, and he had gone to him without much thought. Then a stranger had greeted him in Qui-Gon's place and there had been no more time left to think. This man was no friend of his Master's. Obi-Wan knew that much. He had acted on instinct, using such strengths that were left to him. And everything was well again.

Except that it wasn't. Qui-Gon had been in a wild mood after the attack. Still was, for seeking to speak to a senator at this hour of night.

_Qui-Gon is Qui-Gon_, thought Obi-Wan with a sigh as the two Jedi climbed into a transport. _But what am I doing here?_

He had let his Master's wildness sweep over him. He had followed Qui Gon. He should have known better.

The few passengers were huddled in their seats, dozing or looking outside, wishing to be home already. The flickering lights below betrayed the big city's uneasy rest. Obi-Wan leaned his head back and closed his eyes. They had a good distance to go yet, before they reached the secured governmental section of Coruscant. Force, but he was tired.

Several stops later, the two Jedi were the only passengers left.

'Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon said quietly.

The Master seemed calmer. Obi-Wan nodded, eyes still closed.

'I know it must have seemed abrupt to you. I needed to get you out of the Temple. I think it is not safe, right now.'

The boy sat upright. He turned huge, confused eyes towards the Master.

'What?'

Was the big Jedi out of his mind? Then something changed in Obi-Wan's stance.

'The men who had attacked you,' he said slowly, listening to the whisper of the Force within. 'They are connected to your last mission?'

'Yes,' nodded Qui-Gon. 'They are from a planet called Delanor. I have spent two months there, working with the government.'

Qui-Gon sighed. Delanor was an icy rock of a planet, with rotation so slow, a standard week passed between that world's sunrise and sunset. In the winter season, the only one Qui-Gon had witnessed, nights lasted well over a standard fortnight. It was a harsh and untamed world, but beautiful nonetheless, all swept in white, ablaze with northern lights.

'The population prefers to live in small, close-knitted communities. They are scattered and vulnerable to the threat of the warring factions. The governor had requested help to establish peace.'

'So, those warring factions have come after you?' asked Obi-Wan.

'It appears so. They must have risen to power again. Senator Narb should have more information. If not, he should be informed.'

Obi-Wan chewed on his lower lip. Yes, the news was worthy the loss of the senator's sleep. But the things still refused to make sense to him.

'If they are after you, why attack the children? This morning, those men on the lake, they were dressed the same as the ones I saw in your rooms.'

'They attacked you, Obi-Wan.'

'Me. Why on earth would anyone…' Obi-Wan stopped short. He stared at Qui-Gon with wide, unblinking gaze. 'They knew who I was. They must have been watching both of us. On the Temple grounds? Master, how is this possible? Why haven't we felt anything?'

Qui-Gon looked the apprentice over with a sharp expression.

'You have grown in the Force, Obi-Wan.'

The Padawan shrugged. Had the Force truly shifted inside him? Or did his forced inactivity compel him to listen and feel deeper? Obi-Wan did not know and neither was he comfortable with the change.

'How could they have followed us in the Temple?' repeated the boy.

The older Jedi snorted.

'The Temple is not impervious to visitors, Obi-Wan. If they have come as part of a political convoy, they probably were welcomed with open arms.'

Obi-Wan shook his head.

'Grown in the Force? They have infiltrated the Temple, planted bombs and I haven't felt anything!'

Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow.

'Nobody did. And my rescue does count, you know.'

Obi-Wan scowled.

'To be honest,' continued Qui-Gon, 'we probably would have been the last to perceive a warning.'

The apprentice frowned. 'Why?'

Qui-Gon's voice was mild. 'Obi-Wan, when you left the way you did, this evening, I followed you through the bond, called to you.' Obi-Wan nodded, lowering his eyes. 'Then I opened my door and walked straight into the trap. I haven't sensed a thing. My mind was preoccupied elsewhere. Can you tell me that it was different for you, in the past days?'

Obi-Wan cursed silently. He hadn't wanted to become a burden to his Master. And here he was, endangering Qui-Gon simply by existing, it seemed. Qui-Gon was right, though – ensnared as Obi-Wan had been, still was, in his emotions, it appeared a miracle he was still alive.

Their transport landed near a governmental skyscraper. Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon out, attempting to bring a semblance of order into his thoughts. An armed and well organized group was after Qui-Gon. Anyone associated with the Jedi Master was targeted. The men have tried to blow up the Temple. And Qui-Gon thought there might be more to come. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, shaking away his musings, as the doors opened.

The droid at the reception counter welcomed them with his back. When he finally deigned to turn around, Obi-Wan gazed at him appreciatively. The senate certainly had the financial resources to make their droids look very human-like.

'Yes? How can I help you?'

'We would like to speak to the senator Dolm Narb,' said Qui-Gon.

The droid shifted. His fingers flew over the boards and keys while he gazed unblinkingly at the screens before him.

'I am sorry,' he said at last, his voice displaying no such emotion. 'There is no one here bearing that name.'

'Senator Narb, from Delanor,' repeated Qui-Gon. 'He should have reprised his duties about a month ago. He gave me this address if I needed to contact him.'

'I repeat, no such person here, sirs. If there is nothing else…'

The voice was flat and final.

'Nothing, thank you.'

Qui-Gon turned to go, unfazed by the summary dismissal. Obi-Wan gaped a little, wondering how a clerk, even a mechanical one, could retain his job treating people like this. Then he caught the clerk's cautious glance over one shoulder. This emotionless automaton was a living, breathing person, after all. Obi-Wan hurried after his Master.

'Is something the matter, Padawan?' inquired Qui-Gon once they were outside.

Obi-Wan gestured back.

'This man. He spoke right through us, as if we were beneath him, or something. I thought he was a droid, for Force Sake.'

Qui-Gon chuckled. 'Even droids learn from someone.'

Obi-Wan watched the Master through narrowed eyes. 'You're not affected at all.'

'When one is accustomed to the High Jedi Council…,' replied Qui-Gon. He laughed at Obi-Wan's shocked expression. 'Speaking of which, Padawan, I need to contact the Temple. One moment, please.'

The Jedi Master made sure that the Temple's security would be on the lookout for the possible future threats. Qui-Gon also needed the High Council's permission to return to Delanor. From his placid expression when he ended the call, Obi-Wan gathered that Qui-Gon had received it.

_At least, he's not asking me to come with him,_ thought Obi-Wan.

He should have felt relieved, but didn't.

'You're not returning to the Temple?' Obi-Wan asked.

'No. The faster I reach Delanor, the better.' Qui-Gon's eyes unfocused as he searched the Force. 'Actually, I think the faster I leave, the better.'

Obi-Wan swallowed. Yes, the faster the better. It was what he had wanted. Qui-Gon put both hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders. The boy fought to remain steady under the Master's gaze.

'Padawan, there is a disquiet building in the Force.'

Obi-Wan nodded.

'Will you accompany me to Delanor, Obi-Wan?'

The boy's mouth went dry.

'Because the home planet of your would be assassins is safer than the Temple?'

Obi-Wan refused to flinch at the bitterness in his own voice._ Your mission, your mess, _he thought, looking at Qui-Gon stubbornly.

'The Temple might not be safe right now, Padawan. And I need to leave. It was my mission - my mess.'

This time, Obi-Wan did flinch.

'Padawan? I feel that you should not be at the Temple at this time. Will you come with me?'

'I…'

Accompany Qui-Gon? Why? So that the Jedi Master could keep him safe? So that Obi-Wan would be a burden? Obi-Wan had wanted Qui-Gon to go away. No, he wanted Qui-Gon to stay and be safe. He wanted… What did he want?

'I…'

The thoughts and the voice failed him. Qui-Gon had told him that he had grown in the Force. Obi-Wan opened himself to it, letting his question rise from the heart and flow away. He listened to the echoes that came back.

'I'll follow where you lead,' he heard himself say.

Qui-Gon went still for a heartbeat. His eyes shone out of the calmness of his face with a blue, fierce light. The Master put a gentle hand on the boy's cheek.

'Then I will watch my step carefully,' he murmured.

They would need warmer clothes and few other things that Qui-Gon could purchase on Delanor. They took a taxi to the nearest spaceport. The two Jedi sensed the uneasiness in the Force the instant they sat foot on the snowy pavement. They paid the driver and stood motionless as the small transport veered away. The wind tore at their robes. Obi-Wan tucked his braid in his cloak. He glanced up at Qui-Gon. What if the need arose to run, to fight? Obi-Wan bit his lip. He was useless.

Qui-Gon gave his shoulders a light squeeze. His arm lingered around the boy.

/We're surrounded. Stay close to me,/ he said through the bond.

Obi-Wan's heart lurched. The Force shrilled a warning. The hangar to the Jedi left spat a little army. Men swarmed from behind gray containers at the back of the storage area. More appeared, sprinting between ships and smaller crafts. The Jedi stood back to back, their lightsabers sparkling and dancing against the blaster fire.

_As long as we don't have to run…_ Obi-Wan thought grimly.

He was already out of breath, but that was due as much to his nervousness as to exertion. Obi-Wan blocked one bolt and sent another back to its owner. Behind him, Qui-Gon was as solid as a mountain. Nothing would get past him.

Obi-Wan regretted dearly having been so stubborn with his Master. If only they had sparred more at the Temple. If only he had accepted his Master's help. Maybe Qui-Gon could have found a way for them to fight together in harmony, despite Obi-Wan's maimed leg. Qui-Gon was not one to give up. He would have invented a way, if one did not exist.

But there was no practice, no true accord between them now. They grasped at the memories of how they used to move together, and came empty handed. Awkwardness blossomed between them, unseen to their attackers, but felt keenly nonetheless. The shame scorched Obi-Wan.

/Steady, Padawan. We're not dead yet./

Qui-Gon's mental voice was strong and joyous. The Master was hard pressed in battle, and the swordsman, the warrior in him enjoyed it.

Obi-Wan took a steadying breath.

/Safer than the Temple, huh?/

He almost laughed at Qui-Gon's embarrassment that drifted through the bond. Than came the regret.

/Forgive me,/ whispered Qui-Gon.

/Nobody's perfect,/ answered Obi-Wan.

The Force had guided him to come. Qui-Gon had had little to do with it. And, against all odds, they were still alive. If only they could keep the foes far enough to shield and deflect the fire. Already, the number of the attackers was thinning. The men littered the pavement and painted the snow red with their blood. Maybe, just maybe, the two Jedi would live through this.

/Of course we will, Padawan./

The Master smiled, his eyes on the ever approaching men. The teacher and the apprentice were learning fast. Their movements were lighter, swifter. They had synchrony and grace once again. When the boy would limp, the Master would spring. Obi-Wan swung low ; Qui-Gon's blade danced high and free. They were well. They could make it.

Then hard steel drove into Obi-Wan from a side. The Padawan turned to block, but was too slow. A thick metal plate hit him square on.

_An unhinged hatch of a small craft_, Obi-Wan realized hazily, lying on the ground and tasting blood.

The world dimmed. His Master's boots appeared right before his face. Turning, swirling, dancing.

_Agile_, thought Obi-Wan with admiration.

Red rain sprinkled the snow where the feet danced. One warm drop fell on Obi-Wan's cheek. The world came into sharp focus.

'Master!' gasped the apprentice.

Qui-Gon was injured. He had shielded Obi-Wan, when the Padawan had went down. But there had been no one to watch Qui-Gon's back. A shot had found its way through the Jedi's defenses. Obi-Wan climbed to his feet, still dazed. Qui-Gon's right side was a mess. The shoulder blade glistened with blood and bone through the torn and scorched clothing.

'No!' Obi-Wan whispered.

'Padawan, focus,' ordered Qui-Gon.

The Master fought on left handed, as agile as ever, only grimmer. Obi-Wan followed his lead, heart pounding, a fog dulling his mind. _No. Oh, no!_

'Focus!'

The command jerked Obi-Wan back to the present like icy water on a fevered skin. Qui-Gon was not using the bond, anymore. He was shielding Obi-Wan from his pain.

'Focus. Retreat. Find shelter.'

Qui-Gon's voice was gentler, weaker. Obi-Wan fought back the panic. Qui-Gon paid with blood each step that they took. The man never faltered, never lost his center. They cut a passage through the blaster fire, turned a corner and were granted a moment of respite. But the pursuit was hot on their heels. The two Jedi heard the men call to each other, laughing. Qui-Gon's left arm came around Obi-Wan's shoulders and lay heavy, his lightsaber angled away from the boy. Obi-Wan encircled the older man's waste with his free arm.

'Master?'

Qui-Gon scanned their surroundings wearily. The passage led to a smaller area where several ships waited on platforms. The two Jedi approached with haste, supporting each other. The closest cruiser, slick-formed and shiny from clean up, gave them no entrance. Qui-Gon turned around. His blood made a colorful trail. He extended a hand, closed his eyes for an instant, and the splashes vanished. Obi-Wan found a starship with a hatch slightly ajar.

'Hide?' he asked soundlessly, barely moving his lips.

'Hide,' nodded Qui-Gon.

They deactivated their lightsabers and disappeared in the narrow, dark passageways. Deeper, deeper still in the underbelly of the ship, until the maze of the corridors lay between them and their pursuers. The two Jedi stopped, breathless with pain and exhaustion. Suddenly the lights around them flared to harsh, brilliant life.

'They've hemmed us in, I believe,' Qui-Gon said, utterly calm.

Then he let go of Obi-Wan's shoulder and collapsed on the steel floor.

* * *

A/N I tried to clear the confusion from the last chapters, but you are the judges if I succeeded or not. Here hoping that I did, if only a little. Thank you for reading! Reviews are most welcome :)


	7. Chapter 7

_Valairy Scot_, thank you for your kind words. I hope you don't mind that I take the opportunity to answer here some of the very legitimate questions that you raise. Yes, Qui-Gon indeed had been on several missions alone. His last one, at least, doesn't seem a big success. And he did abandon his apprentice. Blinded by grief, the man had cared more about himself than about the boy that depended on him for everything. And since Qui-Gon had thought little about Obi-Wan when he had abandoned him, I thought it wouldn't be beyond the realm of possible for Qui-Gon to come back expecting to find Obi-Wan exactly as he had left him : worried, eager to please, ready to do anything for his Master. Well, I wanted Qui-Gon to return to something different. I wanted him to have a wake up call. He wishes to help now, to somehow undo the damage.

I won't make it easy for him :)

Thank you for your comment!

Chapter 7

Darkness and pain

Qui-Gon lay unmoving, the blood pooling under and around him. Obi-Wan fell to his knees hard, wincing at the pain that shot through his leg.

'Master! Master, please…'

No answer. Slow, labored breathing.

What did Qui-Gon mean by they were hemmed in? It didn't matter at the moment. They had to move, to get away, to hide.

Blood. So much blood. Obi-Wan put his palm against Qui-Gon's right side and whispered, eyes shut in concentration. When he opened them, the wound's blood flow was in check once again. The Padawan 'cleaned' the floor, as Qui-Gon had done earlier. Then he sat back, breath uneven. His emotions were disturbing his connection to the Force and the fatigue kept coming in dark, cold waves.

'Master, please.'

The ship's engines kicked in. The deck vibrated. Voices floated from above.

Obi-Wan clasped the sides of Qui-Gon's face with both hands. Nothing. Even unconscious, the Jedi Master was still shielding Obi-Wan from his pain. But Obi-Wan had to get through.

/Qui-Gon!/ he cried into their bond. /Help me!/

Qui-Gon's eyes flew open. He sat up, aware of his own hurts, but overlooking them entirely, as he reached for Obi-Wan with his right, injured arm.

'Padawan, you're hurt.'

Obi-Wan shook his head. He had accessed their bond. Now, he just needed to learn to breathe again. His Master's pain, flooding through him, had robbed him of that ability for a time.

'Where are you hurt?' Qui-Gon insisted. 'You're in pain.'

Obi-Wan blinked away hot tears.

'Not me, Qui-Gon. You. I can't carry you. And I'm too tired to maintain an illusion around us for long. I think the men have followed us on the ship. They're going to find us, Master. Please, we need to hide.'

Qui-Gon blinked and nodded once, sharply. He began to rise when the floor lurched under them. The ship was taking off. Qui-Gon sat back with a thump.

'Padawan,' he ground out, 'you are aware we are being kidnapped.'

Obi-Wan gulped. 'You mean… They wanted us to come here?'

'Exactly.'

Obi-Wan flushed red. Oh, Force. His Master would have never been caught in this predicament if not for him. Qui-Gon's warm fingertips brushed against his face. Obi-Wan looked up.

'I'm sor…'

The apology died on his lips. Qui-Gon was shaking, from pain and mirth both. The Jedi Master smirked at his dumbstruck apprentice.

'Have never been kidnapped before. The Council will be delighted. Little one, I believe we are reduced to play hide-and-seek.'

'Little one?' Obi-Wan repeated, trying to sound offended. 'You haven't called me that since… You have never called me that.'

Of course not. Qui-Gon and he had come together when Obi-Wan was almost thirteen, and keen on showing his skills and maturity in order to be chosen. Qui-Gon had never given him this endearment, until now. Because it had been an endearment, Obi-Wan knew it from the softness in Qui-Gon's voice. The apprentice swallowed.

'Hide-and-seek,' he said. 'On their ship.'

Qui-Gon rose, grasping the wall for support.

'Yes, well. We'll just have to make our stay as disagreeable for them as, I'm sure, they would have made it for us.'

Heavy footsteps echoed down to the two Jedi. The search parties, already. Obi-Wan whirled around.

'Master…'

He clasped his mouth shut.

Qui-Gon was leaning against the steel wall, eyes closed. He was casting about with the Force, looking at the ship's layout within his mind's eye. Obi-Wan might have done the same, if he had kept his wits about him. The Padawan's gaze widened as he felt the Force pulse and uncoil around the Master. How strong in the Force was Qui-Gon truly, if he could summon such power while injured?

The Jedi Master's lips parted. 'Come.'

His voice was hoarse. His steps slower than Obi-Wan's. They limped and stumbled along narrow passages. Qui-Gon's good arm was on Obi-Wan's shoulder again. They passed platforms, catwalks, shut doors and round, blind windows. Down, always down, until the big man had to bend almost double in the low corridors.

The buzz of the starship evened out. They were well out in space. But no stars reached the place where the two Jedi staggered in the stale, recycled air. The echoes of their pursuit had vanished a while ago. Remained only the sound of their own strained breathing. Qui-Gon's face was glistening with sweat in the reddish light that trickled faintly from overhead.

'Master?' whispered Obi-Wan.

'Just a bit further, Padawan.'

This journey was an agony for them both. Finally, Qui-Gon went to his knees in order to get past a railing. There, behind metal containers, wooden barrels and old trunks scattered haphazardly, was an opening in the wall. They squeezed through. Obi-Wan entered with ease. Qui-Gon followed suit. The big Jedi gasped when his wounded side grazed the entrance. Obi-Wan whirled around, still on his hands and knees. Qui-Gon's body blocked the only source of light.

'Master?'

Qui-Gon wedged in and sat flat on the floor, catching his breath. The faint light returned. The Master and the apprentice took in their surroundings. It wasn't even a room, just a hollow that the starship builders failed to either fill up or open entirely, leaving it half-finished. There was barely enough place for the both of them. It wasn't high enough to stand up.

'Do you think they'll search here?' asked Obi-Wan in a strangled whisper.

He wasn't claustrophobic, now, was he? No. But his leg hurt like hell, and his head was spinning from exhaustion.

Qui-Gon motioned with a hand for a trunk to slide across the floor and conceal the opening from the outside. The faint light dimmed in the cell.

'Let's hope not,' said the Jedi, letting his head fall forward.

Obi-Wan shifted closer. 'How can I help, Master?'

With no answer forthcoming, Obi-Wan wedged himself between Qui-Gon's back and the wall. He needed to see to the wound.

'Not afraid of the dark?' murmured Qui-Gon, a tired smile coloring his words.

Obi-Wan leaned over his Master's good shoulder in order to see his face.

'Not when you are here,' he answered with a smile of his own.

'Brat.'

'Apprentice.'

Qui-Gon's chuckle was a wonderful sound. In the near pitch blackness, Obi-Wan couldn't see his own hands, much less where to apply the bandages. He lowered Qui-Gon down on his left side and drew away layers of churned clothes from the man's back. Qui-Gon lay silent under his ministrations. The bond was quiet, too. Only Qui-Gon's strained, harsh breathing told Obi-Wan of his pain. The Padawan ripped his own coat into strips and let the Force guide him. For now, such crude dressing would have to be enough. But Obi-Wan could do more.

Qui-Gon tensed as he felt the healing energy radiate from the boy.

'Obi-Wan, wait.'

Obi-Wan obeyed, but stayed doggedly where he was.

'I need to help you, Qui-Gon. Please.'

'Padawan, I accept. But you are tired, little one. Let me assist.'

_That_ endearment again. Obi-Wan touched his forehead to Qui-Gon's.

'Yes, Master. I accept, too.'

His relief washed over them both.

Their combined healing trance was light enough so they would feel an approaching danger. While peace lasted, the man and the boy remained side by side, minds and souls linked. Their breathing slowed, evened and matched.

/You're in pain, too,/ Qui-Gon whispered in the boy's mind.

/I always am. It's all right./

/No, Padawan. It is not./

There were footsteps outside their shelter. Both men opened their eyes, ready to spring into action. But the search party passed by without stopping. The bond tingled with Obi-Wan's delight :

/So they don't know about this place!/

Qui-Gon lowered his head to the floor. His fingers released their death grip on the lightsaber. After some blind fumbling, both men stretched out on the floor side by side. Obi-Wan lay facing the wall. Qui-Gon was between him and the opening hidden from outside by a trunk. There was barely enough room to move. The Master hugged the boy to his chest. Obi-Wan made a low sound of surprise in the back of his throat, but did not protest. The temperature had dropped quickly now that the ship was in hyperspace. Between the cooling air and the cold hard metal floor, the warmth of another being was welcome.

'Sleep well,' the big man whispered.

Obi-Wan let out a drowsy chuckle. 'We don't even know where we're going.'

'Oh, I have a good idea,' Qui-Gon told him. 'Padawan?'

'Hmmm?'

'It was you who had cleaned up our quarters while I was away, wasn't it?'

'Of course, Master. My duty.'

'Hmm. Was it also your duty, Padawan, to be so stubborn with your old Master?'

Obi-Wan blinked. He tried to sit up, but Qui-Gon wouldn't let him. Strands of long hair brushed the boy's neck as the Jedi Master bent to look in his face.

'Hush, Obi-Wan. Sleep. I was only jesting.'

Obi-Wan relaxed against the warm chest.

'Nobody's perfect, Master.'

Qui-Gon's silent laughter rocked the boy a little. The big Jedi's heartbeat lulled Obi-Wan into sleep.

* * *

Liked? Disliked? Indifferent? Your reviews are always welcome.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Burdens

'Qui-Gon? I'm coming in.'

A slight body blocked the entrance. Qui-Gon reached out and practically dragged the boy the rest of the way into their tiny shelter. He checked Obi-Wan over with the Force. Eyes were near useless in the perpetual gloom that has been their world for the last four days.

Obi-Wan had ventured out daily. Despite Qui-Gon's misgivings, the Master knew it was the right thing to do. They needed the water badly. Rather, he needed the water : to clean the wound, to keep the infection at bay, to counterbalance the blood loss, to drink, for Force sake! Jedi Master or not, Qui-Gon could not yet go exploring, all stealth and quiet, in his current state. He kept the sickness at bay by sheer willpower. But it was there, ever-present at the edges of his consciousness. It weakened his connection to the Living Force. And as soon as his grip on the Force faltered, the fever returned with a vengeance.

Qui-Gon had to stay behind while his Padawan put himself in danger. Qui-Gon followed Obi-Wan's movements through the bond. But he knew should anything happen to Obi-Wan on one of these trips, he would not be able to intervene in time. And so, while the boy knocked on the peril's door, Qui-Gon travelled the lonely, tortuous paths of worry and guilt.

Qui-Gon blinked. Obi-Wan was speaking? The boy's words danced just out of reach.

'…ster… please… little… a…'

The fear in his Padawan's gaze brought Qui-Gon to the reality with a jolt.

'Yes, Obi-Wan?'

His voice sounded raspy even to his own ears, but Obi-Wan's smile nearly lit the cell.

'You can hear me!'

'Yes, Obi-Wan.'

Obi-Wan beamed at him.

'Please, take a little water.'

Qui-Gon drank. His head cleared even more.

'Thank you, Obi-Wan.'

His apprentice sat by his side, musing, apparently weighting something in his mind.

'What is it, Padawan?'

Obi-Wan hesitated, licking his lips.

'Drink,' said Qui-Gon. 'You brought more than enough water for the two of us. Good,' he added when the boy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 'Now, tell me.'

'I will, Qui-Gon, but please lie down. You need to save your strength.'

Qui-Gon sighed wearily. Sometimes, young Padawans could be so…

'Please lie down, Master.'

'Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon said finally, '_stop fussing_.'

Obi-Wan recoiled as if slapped. Qui-Gon sighed again.

'Padawan,' he tried once more, tucking away his exasperation, 'I consider your care beyond value. But, please, do understand that your, ah… mothering instincts can be a bit, ah… overwhelming for a grown man.'

Obi-Wan felt himself blush. Qui-Gon waited a moment longer. When the boy said nothing, the Jedi Master laid back and stared at the low ceiling.

'Obi-Wan, you have my leave to sulk full time.'

The boy burst into a soundless laughter. 'I shall remind you of that promise some time.'

'I'm sure you shall. Now, tell me, please. Is something the matter? Beside me, Obi-Wan.'

The apprentice pursed his lips. He had misjudged Qui-Gon's state, apparently. Obi-Wan's bruised pride excluded, that was the most heartwarming discovery for the last four, dark, unending days. But Obi-Wan had made another discovery today, almost as heartwarming. He had overheard two members of the ship's crew talk about food. Until now, Obi-Wan had ventured out for water solely. He had found a tap on the level just above theirs and had made his way there and back at need. But surely his Master would want to eat? The storeroom was a bit farther, another level above, but it was worth the risk, surely?

Qui-Gon looked the boy over with attentive eyes. Four days without food was nothing to the Jedi Master. And the fever kept the hunger at bay. But Obi-Wan was still growing – he needed nourishment.

'You can go,' Qui-Gon said at last. 'Be careful.'

Obi-Wan brightened.

'Thank you. I… I'll go now!'

He crawled out and Qui-Gon reached towards the bond. The boy was cautious. And ravenously hungry. Qui-Gon closed his eyes. This little journey was moving steadily up in his list of 'unforgettable' missions - the ones that he would give much to forget. Unfortunately, in these cases, even his considerable willpower proved ineffective.

Qui-Gon followed Obi-Wan's progression, probing for danger. Better to be marginally useful than to drown in helplessness and guilt. The Master knew where these emotions could lead him. This time, he refused to follow.

A whisper of danger in the back of his mind blossomed suddenly into an inferno. Qui-Gon gasped. A patrol unit was approaching. Yes, nothing new. The search for the two Jedi had continued throughout the ship. The warning rang clear and hard, though. The Force took Qui-Gon in its wake, showing him the ship as a maze of suddenly translucent walls and passageways. Ah, there was Obi-Wan, creeping back, melting with shadows, limping, but glowing with satisfaction nonetheless.

And there, only three corners away from the boy, was another search party. The patrol unit, that had passed the hidden cell harmlessly, was heading that way too.

/Padawan, turn back!/ Qui-Gon cried through the bond. /Find a safe place. Hide yourself. Wait. Something's going on./

Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan stop as if he had hit a wall. Then the boy turned and fled as fast as his legs would allow.

/Yes, Master./

Qui-Gon exhaled in relief, but his expression tensed as the Force's wings brushed him again. He felt the ship, the straining engines, the shuddering air compressors pushing life into the ventilation shafts. And Qui-Gon felt the scattered thoughts of the crew. There was malevolence here, loathing, darkness even. The man shivered. His boy was out in that strange, boundless hatred. Qui-Gon gripped his lightsaber. He was out of the shelter in a heartbeat. Shirtless, chest bound with strips of the brown Jedi robe, he raced the corridors like a wraith towards his Padawan's muted presence.

For now, the way was clear. Qui-Gon climbed two levels, turned a corner and stopped short. His apprentice was crouching in front of a door, almost in the middle of the passage. The satchel with food lay at his feet.

/Obi-Wan!/

The Master's mind-call bore a sharp warning. Obi-Wan turned his head, but did not move. Qui-Gon closed the distance between them.

'Is that how you hide?' he growled low, surprised, disquieted and disappointed at the same time.

Obi-Wan looked up. Qui-Gon saw no sign of repentance whatsoever and his temper flared. Harsh words, made harsher by the worry, came to his lips. Qui-Gon held them in check. The anger would not do. Wounding Obi-Wan with accusations would not do.

_Throw temper tantrums at wayward apprentices, you should not._

Qui-Gon's mouth twitched involuntarily. If the enforced immobility of the last days has not yet driven him mad, admonishing himself in Yoda's voice would.

'I think we're not the only ones to be on this ship against our will,' said Obi-Wan, eyes shining.

_So, the insanity is contagious,_ decided Qui-Gon_._

He shook himself. He was more tired than he had thought. The Jedi struggled to regain control, then squatted down beside the boy.

'Explain yourself.'

Obi-Wan pointed at the door.

'There are people here,' he whispered, frantic. 'Many. With women and children. They're prisoners. We have to help them.'

Qui-Gon stared at the door.

'People? Many? Are you sure?'

Qui-Gon had 'seen' the ship with the Force just moments ago. No room on this level was big enough to contain many.

Obi-Wan shot him an incredulous look.

'You don't believe me?'

'Calm yourself, please. Whence comes your knowledge?'

'They told me.' Obi-Wan turned to the door again. 'Speak, sir. There is nothing to fear.'

The voice on the other side was gruff.

'Please, sirs Jedi. We should not be here. Can you help us?'

Qui-Gon looked at his apprentice.

'Sirs Jedi?' he mouthed. /Just how much information have you seen fit to share, Padawan?/ he added silently, mind to mind.

Obi-Wan's cheeks flashed crimson.

'I…'

The wail of the alarms cut his reply. Red lights pulsed in the passageways. Qui-Gon backed away, pulling Obi-Wan up with him. They headed towards their shelter at a full run, as if the Sith Lords were on their heels. It did not last.

'Can't… run,' Obi-Wan gasped, stumbling to a halt. He leaned against a wall, clutching his leg. 'Told you. I'm a burden.'

Qui-Gon stood before him, sweating and shivering, blue eyes bright with the remnants of the fever. His pupils dilated widely as he drew the Force around them both.

'Then we'll walk, Padawan.'

Obi-Wan understood and straightened up. He would help. The illusion created and maintained by two would be stronger. It would drain them less.

/The people?/ he sent silently, as they headed down the corridor, the Force wrapped around them like a cloak.

Guards and soldiers darted past, blasters held at ready. Shouts filled the air. The two Jedi weaved between the running men like ghosts. The Forth wavered a little in their shared grasp, then held firm.

/I don't think we're in a condition to be of help to them right now, Obi-Wan. Ghosts, hmm? You're pale enough for that./

Qui-Gon's mind-voice sounded weary, but amused. Obi-Wan threw his mentor a sideway glance. No. No ghost would ever look this disheveled.

Qui-Gon read his thoughts effortlessly. He sidestepped a soldier and smiled.

/Enjoying our little stroll, Padawan?/

/Very much so. We could explore the ship this way./

/Tomorrow,/ answered Qui-Gon. /We've had enough excitement for one day, I think./

They crawled into their tiny, dark shelter and collapsed on the floor.

'Let's see what you have found,' Qui-Gon said after a while.

The boy sat back, watching the older man with happy eyes. Qui-Gon would eat and regain his strength. He would recover. Then, even alone on a ship that took them Sith knew where, everything will be well.

Qui-Gon sniffed at the bread as he placed their new treasures on a cloak spread on the floor. Next came the dried meat, a chunk of cheese and even some very wrinkled apples. Qui-Gon smiled up at the boy.

'I expected protein bars. You brought as a feast, Obi-Wan.'

Obi-Wan colored at the praise. His stomach growled loudly. His mouth watering, the apprentice tore his eyes away. He would wait. Qui-Gon needed the food first. The boy saw the Master look at him in an odd way. Was it… compassion? Obi-Wan frowned. Why would Qui-Gon look at him like this?

'Thank you, Obi-Wan,' said the Jedi. 'Please, join me. The meal will not be half as good if I eat alone.'

Obi-Wan swallowed. His resolution crumbled under the gentle words and the even gentler gaze. Suddenly, even the darkness and the isolation seemed but a feeble inconvenience, nothing at all. The two Jedi savored the stale food as if it was a feast worthy of kings. For them, it was.

Obi-Wan was all hunger. Qui-Gon, wild looking with his long, unkempt hair, somehow managed to retain his usual grace. He appeared to be receiving a treasured guest.

'More cheese? The bread is good. You should try the meat, Obi-Wan.'

Qui-Gon offered the food unobtrusively, with poise and kindness. Somehow, irrationally, the youngster felt loath to refuse him.

'Shall we meditate together?' Qui-Gon said when the meal was done.

Obi-Wan throat went dry. Together? It has been such a long time. They hadn't meditated together since before New Apsolon.

_I missed it_. _I missed _him.

Obi-Wan recoiled from the thought and the memories. Should he, could he, accept? Or has it been too long?

Qui-Gon observed him a moment longer before kneeling, eyes closed. The boy rocked back and forth on his heels. Could, should, would. He still didn't know what he wanted and the confusion hurt. Obi-Wan watched the man with burning, stinging eyes. He had missed Qui-Gon. Why did he realize it only now? Slowly, as if waiting to change his mind, Obi-Wan knelt and joined his Master in meditation.

They searched for each other through the bond, linked their souls and reached inwards, where the man's quiet strength met the boy's light. Then they went up together, up, until the light was all compassing. The darkness and the loneliness were banished from this place. A road made of sun rays stretched before them. _Follow me_, it invited, pure and beautiful. They did. Their paths were different, but with the Light for destination, the Master and the apprentice remained side by side.

They knelt for a long time, motionless, feeling each other's presence and treasuring the warmth that flowed through the bond. Qui-Gon took a deep, slow breath and opened his eyes.

'I have a question for you, Padawan.'

The apprentice looked up in surprise.

'Yes, Master?'

'You have cared for me for four days. Have put yourself in danger for me. Was I a burden to you, Padawan?'

An untamed emotion leapt into the boy's face.

'No!' he breathed out fiercely. 'Never. Qui-Gon, you… You do me wrong by thinking that.'

Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's face in both hands and gazed at him through the darkness.

'Then here is my question. How is it that you do not see the wrong you do me, when you say that you are a burden?'

Obi-Wan's breath caught. He tried to lower his head. Qui-Gon wouldn't let him.

'But… I thought… I… I didn't think,' Obi-Wan whispered, shame and anguish filling his words. 'I was selfish. Forgive me.'

Qui-Gon grew still, as if the answer had hurt him. He released Obi-Wan with a sigh. A year ago, blinded by grief for Tahl, he hadn't thought either. But he was a Master, not an apprentice. He had no excuse to offer to anyone, least of all to himself. And he could not ask for forgiveness. He deserved none.

'Those words should be mine,' Qui-Gon said at last. 'But my selfishness is less easily mended. Just know that I will not cast you out, Obi-Wan.'

The boy started to protest.

'Sleep, Padawan,' Qui-Gon shushed him. 'Please know that I am sorry.'

'But… I wanted to continue on New Apsolon. I wanted to come. You didn't push me. The healer had said I was all right.'

'Please, take some sleep, Obi-Wan.'

The boy stretched out dejectedly on the cold floor. His denials were powerless against Qui-Gon's conviction. Obi-Wan had not seen Qui-Gon's guilt and sorrow, back at the Temple. He had been angry and hurt. Still was. But a much bigger part of him wanted to ease away the shadows from Qui-Gon's heart. The Jedi Master had had enough regrets to last him several lifetimes. If only Obi-Wan could take away this guilt. But he didn't know how. After all, he couldn't make his leg stop hurting. And he couldn't stop himself from limping by sheer willpower. He had tried.

The boy curled into a tight ball. The sleep wouldn't come, and he was cold. Obi-Wan turned around and stared at Qui-Gon's back. He edged forward until his face was inches from Qui-Gon's shoulder blades. He lay there, eyes closed, feeling the warmth that flowed from his Master.

Qui-Gon exhaled. The boy was unhappy. There were things that needed to be said between them. But now, while they couldn't escape each other's company, was probably not the best of times. Or maybe it was. What did he know? Qui-Gon faced his Padawan. The boy's eyes shot open. Obi-Wan moved to back away, but Qui-Gon put his arms around him in an awkward embrace.

'Sleep, Obi-Wan,' he murmured, guiding the boy's head to his shoulder. 'Just sleep.'

Obi-Wan sighed. Ever the obedient Padawan, he did just as he was told.

* * *

Well, the chapters just get longer and longer. And I thought to keep it short and sweet. Should have known I can never keep it short. Thank you for reading! I hope you like it still. Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

**Valairy Scot**, thank you for your review. I need to thank you for something else, too. Your question about how much Qui-Gon knew from Yoda or Mace sparkled something that gave birth to a passage wholly unexpected and, in my eyes, at least, beautiful. It will come later in the story.

As for Qui-Gon never truly hitting a brick wall, I hear you. The abandonment issue hasn't been dealt with. Not really. It's muted now, not forgotten. It will be back.

You feel that Yoda is up to something? Whenever is he not? :)

Once again, thank you for commenting.


	9. Chapter 9

First of all, I want to thank you all for reading. And a huge thank you to you, wonderful reviewers. It's such a joy to share the story and to know that people read. And even like. Thank you!

For the chapter 9 though… It is ready. I am not. The T rating and the warning found in the summary of this story are mostly for this chapter and I'm very nervous and unsure about it. I'll let you read. But, sensitive souls, please proceed with caution.

**Valairy Scot** : Thank you! I'm glad that you like Obi-Wan's portrayal. For me, Qui-Gon, with his shadows, guilt and creeping sorrow, is easier to write.

I promise to do my best, when the time comes for the two of them to talk and sort things out. Those chapters were so very hard to write.

Thank you for your review.

**Rangermaid** : Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic so far. It wouldn't leave me in peace until I started writing. Qui-Gon wouldn't leave me in peace :-)

You're drawing? Wow. I've always wanted to be able to do that, but... I'd better stick to writing :-)

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Chapter 9

Fire

There were no mornings in their dark recess. And there was no daylight in space. When the starship lurched, shuddering its way out of hyperspace, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan woke up with a start. They stayed still, assessing the change in their surroundings. Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed as he probed with the Force and found his answer. The white coldness towards which the ship was heading felt familiar.

'Delanor?' asked Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon nodded. His arms were still wrapped around the boy. Obi-Wan smiled lopsidedly. To be held like this certainly lessened the unease of their last discussion. As the slumber left them, though, another sort of discomfort started to build. The two Jedi untangled their limbs and sat up.

Qui-Gon smiled at the boy's timidity. 'Morning, Padawan.'

'Maybe it's still night,' Obi-Wan mumbled, suddenly fascinated by the floor.

'On Delanor, I'm sure it is.'

Obi-Wan rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

'How gracious of our captors to have given us a ride.' He yawned, then sat up straighter. 'Qui-Gon, why did they attack to bring us here? We were coming anyway.'

'They wanted us on their terms, I suppose.'

'Are we?'

Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow at him. Obi-Wan chuckled.

'Then I'll go make the terms even less agreeable. Master, I want to help the prisoners escape before we land.'

Qui-Gon's brows furrowed.

'Obi-Wan,' he said slowly, 'I did not sense any distress from them. I still don't.'

Obi-Wan shook his head. Why was Qui-Gon so reluctant? Wasn't it their duty to help free the captives?

'There was fear in their voice,' he said.

'Have you talked to many?'

'No. Only one. You've talked to him too. But there was fear, Qui-Gon. I've heard it.'

Qui-Gon's voice was gentle.

'Obi-Wan, I did not _feel_ any distress,' he repeated. 'Did you?'

The Padawan frowned. 'No,' he said finally. 'But I can't always judge.'

Qui-Gon gave him a sharp look. 'What do you mean?'

'When my leg… um… Sometimes…' the words tumbled reluctantly from his lips. 'When I use the Force to dampen the pain, I…' Obi-Wan shook his head. 'I…'

'You block the pain and the Force blocks much of everything else?' Qui-Gon finished for him.

Obi-Wan nodded, unwilling to meet the Master's eyes. Qui-Gon was silent. Obi-Wan looked up after a moment.

'The prisoners…,' he began.

Qui-Gon cut him off with a shake of his head. 'We'll land soon. We'll deal with them afterwards.'

'But what if it is too late, then?'

'Padawan, I doubt the Delanorians smuggle people through space, if that's indeed what's going on, to have them killed on the arrival.'

'What if we are unable to deal with the captives after the landing?'

'Padawan…'

'Master, maybe I can help. Please, I want to do that. I want to try.'

Qui-Gon could have argued that, since his perceptions were clearer, and since he was, after all, the Master in this Master/Padawan team, they should follow his lead. But the boy was troubled. He would not hear reason, now. And yet, hear it he must.

'Obi-Wan.' Qui-Gon's voice was sharp enough to bring his student's eyes up to him. 'We are about to land.'

Qui-Gon stopped. Something in the boy's face made him hold his breath.

_What am I doing?_

_Protecting_, came the immediate answer.

Yes, rush out now would be foolish. But Obi-Wan was uncertain of himself. Maybe even uncertain of his place among the Jedi. If Qui-Gon denied him… The Master closed his eyes. He could not reject the plea he saw in his student's face. He had denied Obi-Wan enough.

'Obi-Wan, we are about to land,' Qui-Gon started again, his voice hollow. 'The passages will be unsafe.' _The hurry will not help you, Padawan. Patience_, he wanted to add, but made himself hold his tongue.

The boy pounced at the offered opening.

'Master, I'll go as we did yesterday. They'll not see me.'

Qui-Gon continued to look at him. Obi-Wan smiled.

'I'm stronger, now that I have eaten. I'll be able to control the Force. They'll not see me.'

The Master bowed his head.

'Then go, Obi-Wan. May the Force be with you.'

The boy ducked out of the small alcove with a resounding /Thank you/ singing through the bond. Qui-Gon's hands fisted in his robes. His jaw clamped shut until his teeth ground together. He let out a low growl.

_Old fool!_ _What have I done?_

Qui-Gon sat in silence and in darkness, and waited. The minutes trickled by. He was motionless, focused solely on the little shade of light that crept the corridors above him. Obi-Wan was well centered in the Force. He will not falter.

The ship screeched, tilted, shuddered and went still. They have landed. Already.

The Force swirled darkly around the Master. Qui-Gon was out and running without any conscious thought. But it was too late. Somewhere, his boy screamed in pain. The echo of that scream and of the pain drove the Master forward. Soon, a heartbeat later, it seemed, Qui-Gon was at the door where he had found Obi-Wan yesterday. It hanged open, revealing an unlit room that was too small to hold many people.

_But you knew that already, you fool!_

Qui-Gon ignored his thoughts. His Padawan's presence was growing dimmer. Obi-Wan was still struggling, but… A fiery pain came through the bond. Qui-Gon swayed. For a moment, his vision swam black. No…

/Little one?/ he sent, shuddering.

No answer.

Darkness.

'Wait,' whispered Qui-Gon. 'Wait, I'll come for you.'

More corridors, more doors, more rooms. Too long!

/Obi-Wan!/

The lifeless bond echoed hollowly with the Master's dread.

A voice, the gruff voice Qui-Gon remembered from yesterday, boomed through the ship.

'Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn!' it called. 'Come, Jedi Master. Take a look.'

Screens flickered to life in every passage. The blue-grey light of the Delanorian evening filled the corridors with a peaceful glow. Qui-Gon approached, his face white and haunted in the sudden brightness. There was nothing peaceful in the images that filled the screen. His Padawan was dangling from restraints, his arms twisted above his head, chains slung over a tree branch. A man stood beside Obi-Wan.

'Welcome back to Delanor, Jedi. Had I known you harbored such a burning desire to rejoin us, I might have arranged your return sooner. We've never actually met. But don't you mind. I've heard more than enough about your… exploits… here. The power is mine, now. And you both are my precious, precious guests. Have you enjoyed your trip, Jedi?'

Qui-Gon didn't answer. He was looking at Obi-Wan. The boy's head hang low. Blood dripped through his lips and fell on the snow at his feet.

/Padawan?/ Qui-Gon probed through the bond.

The boy didn't stir.

'You're too late, Jedi,' the man continued, smiling. 'You will die. But the lad will live. Are you glad?'

Qui-Gon looked at him for the first time. The man was large and stocky. Cold face ; dark, dangerous eyes ; lips twisting in pleasure. The leader of the group, probably.

'Are you glad, Jedi?'

_Very. You just keep talking,_ thought Qui-Gon, stretching his awareness, searching the ship for the closest exit.

'What have you done to the boy?' he asked.

The crew had taken Obi-Wan outside. Qui-Gon felt that the ship was empty, except for him. The Jedi was deep below the first opening. He might as well cut his way out with the 'saber.

Laughter redirected Qui-Gon's attention. Obi-Wan's captor was stroking the boy's hair, gazing out at Qui-Gon, taunting him. The men around the pair cheered. The sheer level of their hatred was staggering. The leader seized the back of Obi-Wan's skull in one thick palm and jerked the boy's head up. Obi-Wan's eyelids fluttered, but he did not wake. A black collar was clasped tightly around his neck.

Qui-Gon's expression grew grim at the sight of the Force repressive device. So this was the source of his Padawan's pain. The ache burned even through the muted and twisted bond.

The leader trailed his thumb over the boy's cheekbone in a mockery of a caress.

'I have done to him very little, Master Jinn, compared to what I am about to do.'

Qui-Gon felt himself go cold. He headed for the door, pulling his lightsaber out.

'Take one more step, Jedi, and I'll blow this ship sky high,' said the man. 'Your Temple may be still standing, but this ship will not.'

Qui-Gon faced the screen once more. The leader held a sleek remote control in his upturned palm.

'All I have to do is hit a button. Your call, Jedi.'

'What do you want from me?' Qui-Gon asked.

'I'll let you know in a minute. Right now, your apprentice is too tempting.'

The man grabbed Obi-Wan's jaw in one hand, the other still at the back of the boy's head, and, making sure nothing blocked Qui-Gon's view, forced Obi-Wan in a long, deep, languorous kiss. The boy struggled sluggishly, moaning his pain into the other's mouth. The man growled in satisfaction.

A cold fury ripped through Qui-Gon. He clutched his lightsaber in a crushing grip. _Stay unconscious_, he willed Obi-Wan silently.

But the apprentice disobeyed him this time. Obi-Wan's eyes flew open. The boy stared at the face above him, shocked into immobility. Then revulsion twisted his features. He bit down hard, drawing blood from the man's lips. The leader retreated a fraction, jerked Obi-Wan's head backwards and sank his teeth into the boy's throat, just above the collar. He crushed Obi-Wan's air passage, silencing his scream of pain and denial.

'Sweet,' the man purred to his trembling prey. 'We'll have fun.' He gave Obi-Wan another kiss, smeared their combined blood across the boy's mouth and turned to Qui-Gon. 'Tell me, Jedi, did I taste you on him?'

Qui-Gon shuddered.

'Master?' came the unsteady whisper.

The leader stepped aside with a smile. The apprentice saw Qui-Gon's ashen face, looking at him with an agonizing tenderness from a monitor. Horror and utter shame swept over Obi-Wan. He shrank away from the clear, blue gaze of his teacher.

Qui-Gon's fury became a searing, raging fire inside his chest. Fire. Flames. Hot, unchecked rage. A howl rose in the back of his mind - his own feral cry of denial. But Qui-Gon curbed it all.

'What _ do_ you_ want?' he repeated, grounding each word out through clenched teeth.

'From you? Death. While your little pet is watching.'

Obi-Wan's head snapped up. His mouth hang open.

'What? No! No. Please, don't!'

The leader chuckled.

'See what I mean, Jedi? Afterwards, we'll celebrate, have fun.' His hand came to rest on the small of Obi-Wan's back. Obi-Wan jerked away uselessly. 'Your boy will not last long. They never do. And there is nothing you can do about it, Jedi.'

Qui-Gon straightened to his full height.

'That's where you are wrong.'

His bloodied and beaten apprentice was fighting wildly against the restraints. At this moment, there was very little the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn could or would not do.

* * *

Thank you for reading. This was… Was it very horrible?


	10. Chapter 10

**Valairy Scot** : Ah, the emotions. Neither Qui-Gon nor Obi-Wan had been wise. 'There is no emotion, there is peace' is a nice theory. But when one is human, I guess the theory and the reality tend to differ.

Here is the next chapter. It did not take forever, right? Am I forgiven? :-)

**Rangermaid** : _The threat within_? No, no relationship. I haven't read the book at the time when I wrote the chapter. But after you mentioned it, I went hunting for that scene... and ended up by reading the entire book. Enjoyed it, too.

As for hurting Obi too much, I promise I won't. Too much :-)

Chapter 10

Take me with you

Obi-Wan screamed when flames engulfed the starship. He tore at the chains that held him.

'No! Master! Qui-Gon! Master!'

But there was only the swirling smoke, the raging fire and the emptiness in his heart. Nothing would fill it now. Obi-Wan would never stop screaming.

He wrenched at his restraints until blood from his torn wrists splattered on his forehead. Obi-Wan blinked the warmth away, uncaring. The ship was gone, swallowed by the explosion. The boy stared at the churned and blackened earth. His bond with Qui-Gon was dead and broken.

Qui-Gon. Dead and broken.

Obi-Wan's cries turned into sobs that left him raw. Tears and blood mingled on his face. He had been so afraid, earlier. So afraid of what the men wanted to do to him.

Do? To _him_?

The teen threw his head back. He wanted to laugh, but could only moan.

/Qui-Gon,/ he called into the bond. /Please, Master. Please, be there!/

Emptiness swirled before Obi-Wan. He searched for the captain of the ship with bloodshot eyes. Where was he? Where were his men? They had vowed to bring him pain. Obi-Wan didn't care anymore. He shrugged into the silent Force.

_Let anything come._

The collar was squeezing the life out of him slowly. But his captors had promised a quicker death. Obi-Wan wanted that.

Where were they? Obi-Wan was alone, bound to a tree, with no strength left to fight. He gasped and shivered in the icy embrace of the wind. He was too arrogant, Obi-Wan realized, too hasty. If the Force had chosen a slower death for him than for Qui-Gon, who was he to disagree?

Something brushed against his mind. Something feather light, familiar, warm. Obi-Wan held still, listening, but the collar was like a leaden weight around a drowning man's neck. Obi-Wan could not touch the Force. The wind scattered the warmth away. The boy let his head drop.

Was it the wind that shrieked so? Obi-Wan had heard it moan, sometimes, in the Temple gardens. The sound could be eerie and plaintive, piercing one's heart with its sudden, unknown sadness. Or it could be almost angry, tearing at the trees and the grass, howling at the closed windows. But Obi-Wan had never heard the wind shriek with hatred and fear. Maybe, on Delanor, it could.

Obi-Wan blinked in a mild, exhausted surprise. The remnants of the ship still smoldered. The black smoke leaked into the darkening sky. Obi-Wan had thought that hours had passed. But no, it must have been mere minutes. And the shrieks had died away. Then a being of light and fire stepped before Obi-Wan. The boy smiled.

'Qui-Gon.'

His Master stood before him, whole, unhurt, only different. His lightsaber was the color of the flames that still burned in the background. And so were his eyes.

'You are one with the Fire,' the boy whispered. 'One with the Force. Take me with you, Master, please.'

Qui-Gon deactivated his lightsaber. The fire that coursed through his veins dimmed a little. It still shimmered, though, touching everything, lighting up the tips of his hair. The big man reached forward with a large, slightly trembling hand.

'Obi-Wan?' he said. 'Child?'

* * *

A shorter chapter, this time, but it seemed like a right place to stop. *Looks at the glaring readers and takes a step back* B-but there will be more, I promise!

Thank you for reading, everyone. Hope you enjoy.


	11. Chapter 11

**Rangermaid** : Thank you! Here is the next, somewhat longer, instalment.

Chapter 11

Your fire, my night

Qui-Gon reached forward with a large, slightly trembling hand. 'Obi-Wan? Child?'

Obi-Wan watched his Master with tired eyes.

'I love you,' he said, his voice rough. 'Even though you're not real.'

Something heavy and warm settled around Obi-Wan's shoulders. Something that smelled of smoke and of another male. Obi-Wan didn't care. His eyelids were heavy. Darkness pulled at him.

'Obi-Wan.'

Qui-Gon's voice. The ghost was still here? Obi-Wan dragged his eyes open in time to see the man grasp the chains. They fell away. Obi-Wan's legs buckled and he stumbled into Qui-Gon's chest. The darkness beckoned, but the fire… No, not fire, Obi-Wan realized. It was Qui-Gon who held the night at bay.

'Padawan, stay with me.'

Obi-Wan nodded. The world was moving too fast. He found himself on the ground, staring at an unfamiliar, furred cloak placed under him. When did he sit down? Qui-Gon's hands encircled his wrists. Obi-Wan felt the healing energy and glanced down. Blood bubbled between Qui-Gon's fingers. The boy frowned in confusion.

'Did I do that?'

'It's all right, Padawan. Hold still for me. Okay?'

Obi-Wan nodded again. Did Qui-Gon think that he would get up and walk away? Silly, silly thought. Obi-Wan laughed. The ghost's eyes bore into his. Piercing, blue and bright, made even brighter by the sharp attention. Obi-Wan cocked his head to one side.

'Your light is beautiful, Master. Never seen you like this before…'

He chocked on the grief and the laughter became a sob. The hands on his wrists tightened.

'Padawan, I'm here. I'm right here,' came the deep, well-known voice.

'Of course you are,' agreed Obi-Wan.

But he knew better. Qui-Gon would never be there anymore. He had been on the ship, still facing the monitor, when the explosion had tore the spacecraft apart. Now, if the Master's ghost came to guide the apprentice, why not? It was an act of mercy. Obi-Wan would follow.

Qui-Gon's fingertips touched Obi-Wan's neck.

'I'm going to remove the collar. This will hurt.'

Obi-Wan shrugged.

'I can't follow you into the Force with it on me.'

Qui-Gon didn't answer. He bent close, examining the device. Obi-Wan moaned when the Force flooded back in a tidal wave. It burned. Everything burned. Qui-Gon's hands were on his shoulders, soothing, holding him up.

'We need to leave, Padawan,' he said, wiping Obi-Wan's face clean of the blood, the grime and the tears.

Obi-Wan smiled through his dizziness.

'Of course, Master. But… Can I follow you, even though I'm not dead yet?'

Sorrow flashed in the blue gaze, followed by an unmistakable twinkle of humor.

'Yes, Padawan. Even though.'

The ghost Jedi wrapped the boy tighter in a warm cloak and stood, lifting him up in his arms.

They had been travelling this way for some time when Obi-Wan spoke again.

'You know,' he said, rather drowsy, 'if you were you, Master, I'd insist on walking by myself. Not to burden you.' Obi-Wan bit his lip. He peered at the quiet, attentive face above him. 'But don't tell the real you I said so, okay?'

There was a short bark of laughter and the face tipped down.

'It's fortunate that I'm not me, then. May I suggest you take some rest?'

Obi-Wan subsided easily.

'Will you kill me?' he asked a moment later.

His bearer's steps faltered.

'No, Obi-Wan.'

'But if you don't, it will have to be somebody else.'

'I certainly hope not!'

The voice was strained, but the humor still crept around the edges.

'I'd rather it be you, Master.'

'I'd rather not. Hush, Obi-Wan.'

The boy tugged at the snow covered beard, tilting Qui-Gon's head down.

'Master,' he pleaded, 'you'd be gentle. Gentler than the cold. Or th-the other men. Please, Master.'

Qui-Gon looked at him for a long moment. He sighed, finally, his breath misting the cold air. His fingertips came to rest on the boy's eyelids.

'Rest, Obi-Wan.'

Obi-Wan nuzzled the warm hand. His cheek brushed against the familiar calluses.

'It is because of the explosion, because of the fire. Isn't it?' he whispered, eyes closed.

'What is, Obi-Wan?'

'That you are still warm.'

They stayed silent for a long time, after that. The snow crunched under Qui-Gon's boots. The wind howled like a wild thing. But it did not shriek with hatred, anymore. Obi-Wan watched the stars appear overhead. Some time later, he opened his eyes to find that he had slept. Qui-Gon was still walking, still holding him close.

'Master?'

'I'm here, Obi-Wan.'

'Qui-Gon, what happened?'

The Jedi Master stopped. 'Your head is clearer.'

'Yes. I feel better.'

Qui-Gon set him down.

'Thank you,' Obi-Wan whispered. He wavered a bit, then found his footing. 'What happened?'

Qui-Gon's smile flickered briefly.

'You overrode the Force repressive collar and willed yourself to die.'

'I - what?'

'You don't remember?'

'Willed myself to…? I… It wasn't…' Obi-Wan took a lungful of the crisp, pure air. He tilted his head up, a weak smile gracing his lips. 'Is the real you very upset with me, Master?'

Qui-Gon snorted.

'So you do remember.'

Obi-Wan nodded.

'Thank you for coming for me,' he said, head low. 'I walked straight into a trap. You were right. They were no prisoners.'

Qui-Gon didn't acknowledge the gratitude. Letting Obi-Wan go was his mistake. His alone. Qui-Gon had allowed his guilt to lead him astray. And his Padawan had been hurt in the process.

The Master lifted the boy's chin and searched his eyes. Obi-Wan took a step back.

'No shame, Obi-Wan.' Qui-Gon's voice was gentle, but the command behind the words was unmistakable. 'That man's actions were his own. None of it belongs to you. Do you understand me, Padawan?'

Obi-Wan swallowed.

'Yes, Master.'

His voice came out in a hoarse whisper. He looked up briefly. Qui-Gon stood before him without a scratch, without a burn, not a single hair singed.

'Master, what happened on the ship? How did you survive the explosion?'

Qui-Gon shook his head.

'I'm not sure, Padawan. I'll need to meditate on that.'

'Those men. Did you…?'

Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to say the words. Qui-Gon's gaze didn't waver.

'Yes. Some ran, but the hatred was too strong in the others. The Force permitted their death. It...'

Qui-Gon fell silent as the Force swirled around them in warning. Obi-Wan reached for his lightsaber, only to find it in his Master's hands. The boy accepted the weapon back with a grateful nod.

'Do you know what's hunting us?'

'People, Padawan, even if they don't feel like it. Are you ready?'

'Yes, Master. Always.'

Then a group of men rounded a white hill and there was no more time for words.

* * *

After the darkness of the last two chapters, even the talk of death sounds like mush. Weird, that. Thank you for reading. Next chapter – Qui-Gon faces a decision concerning Obi-Wan.


	12. Chapter 12

**Rangermaid** : *Bows gratefully* Thank you for your interest. I'm glad you enjoyed Obi-Wan in the previous chapter. Hurt, lost and helpless like a child, he was fun to write. Not exactly easy, but fun. More, huh? Here it goes, then :)

**Valairy Scot** : I'm glad you enjoyed that conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. It came a bit out of the blue. Whatever I had planned wasn't working and then this came up, and became one of my favourite scenes in the fic.

Thank you for your review.

Chapter 12

Darkness

For all their rage and hatred, the rogue Delanorians were no match for the two Jedi. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were far from their usual efficient selves. Obi-Wan wavered on his feet. His lightsaber seemed to pulse in time with his heart as the teen blocked and redirected the blaster fire. Qui-Gon's wound was not completely healed yet. He had fought to reach his apprentice after the ship had exploded. He had walked several hours, bearing Obi-Wan in his arms. Qui-Gon's movements were slower now. He favored his left arm.

Even so, the Master and the apprentice stood side by side, unflinching. They had tried to scare their attackers off - they had tried to spare them. But a blind fury drove the men on. The Jedi started to send the shots back to their owners. The battle lasted only moments after that.

The quiet had returned. The men lay sprawled, black spots on the blue snow. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged a look. They wove between the bodies, all senses on alert. Some men were unconscious. The others were faking death. Their thoughts and their panting betrayed them. The Force sang in the new silence. It pulled at the two Jedi, willing them away. The Master and the apprentice obeyed. They thumbed the lightsabers off, cloaked their presence with the Force and went, leaving no trail to follow.

'Where are we headed?' asked Obi-Wan once they were out of earshot.

From his research about Delanor, Qui-Gon knew the general layout of the planet : main cities, chains of mountains, oceans and desert lands that stretched for countless miles. They were in one such territory. On foot, the nearest town was weeks away.

Obi-Wan stared at his mentor.

'Weeks? That's…' He searched for the right word. In comparison to Coruscant, one big city-planet, Delanor was… 'Remarkable,' muttered the apprentice. 'Do we want to reach the nearest town?'

The snowdrifts came to Qui-Gon's thighs. The boy, almost submerged to the waist, wobbled unsteadily. Qui-Gon offered to help, but Obi-Wan shook his head.

'Thank you, no. I'd rather walk. The fight woke me up.'

Qui-Gon nodded.

'Delanor is no Coruscant,' he said, 'but we should be able to find a transport and a way to contact the Temple in the city. Maybe we'll even find a space port.'

'Maybe even warmth?' quipped the Padawan.

Qui-Gon smiled.

'Maybe.'

He strolled a couple of paces ahead, intending to open the way across the drifts, but the Padawan stubbornly remained by his side. The wind flung the snow at the two travelers. Soon, there was no more need to cover the tracks. Obi-Wan set his teeth to stop them from clattering. He blinked at the older man.

'Master, I'm a little nervous. The natives have been very open about their feelings, so far. Will we survive the… um, warmth of their welcome, should we reach the town?'

Qui-Gon surveyed the dark, storm-filled horizon.

'Good question, Padawan. But I suggest we concentrate on the here and now. A blizzard is coming. We need to find shelter.'

The gusts of wind drew tears from Obi-Wan's eyes. His eyelashes were starting to freeze together. The air was cold enough to burn deep in his chest on every intake of breath. Obi-Wan smiled through wooden, pale lips.

'Of course, Master. Shelter sounds good.'

He stumbled and landed on all fours. The snow filled his nose, touched his neck and trickled sinuously down his spine as Obi-Wan pulled himself up. He shuddered. Shelter sounded better and better. Obi-Wan took an awkward step only to be stopped by Qui-Gon's hands on his shoulders.

'Padawan, let me help.'

The boy shook his head. That was a mistake, he realized, as a wave of dizziness overtook him. Obi-Wan clutched at Qui-Gon's cloak to stay upright.

'No,' he stammered, shamed by his weakness. 'I… I…'

'You are being stubborn?' supplied Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan swallowed convulsively. There were strength and warmth here, if he would accept them. But an old fear trembled in Obi-Wan's heart. He stood, swaying in the wind, shivering from the cold and the bone-deep weariness.

'Padawan?'

Obi-Wan looked up. The gesture of trust came easier this time than on the ship, when Qui-Gon had offered to meditate together. Obi-Wan reached up to put his hands on the much bigger man's shoulders. The Master and the apprentice stood still for a heartbeat. Then the boy smiled sheepishly, rose on his toes and entwined his forearms behinds Qui-Gon's neck, so that the man could lift him more easily one handed. Qui-Gon scooped him up.

'I'm sorry,' murmured Obi-Wan.

'Don't be. I've asked you to come to Delanor, remember?'

Obi-Wan nodded. His cold nose bumped into Qui-Gon's throat, eliciting a chuckle.

'Well then, allow me the pleasure to introduce you to Delanor. Sightseeing. What do you say?'

'Snow seeing,' Obi-Wan mumbled in a tired whisper.

He sighed and pressed his face into Qui-Gon's shoulder. The man's grip shifted. A hand came to rest on Obi-Wan's head.

'Can you stay awake for me, child?'

Obi-Wan nodded wordlessly. Qui-Gon kept a steady stream of conversation, talking about his years in the crèche. Obi-Wan raised his head a little.

'You… still remember?' he asked, words slurring.

Qui-Gon smiled, glad at having coaxed a reaction from his ailing companion.

'Of course. I have some memories of my home-world too.'

He spoke of the green fields, of the dance of the flowers in the warm wind, of the sun's golden path on the river of his early childhood.

/The river stone?/ asked Obi-Wan through the bond.

/Yes, Padawan./

Qui-Gon spoke of his apprenticeship with Yoda and of his first missions as a knight. The conversation became one-sided, but Qui-Gon kept talking. He felt Obi-Wan holding on to his voice long after the boy had stopped responding. They were on a barren landscape. The snow glowed with its own light, keeping the darkness at bay. As far as Qui-Gon could see, there was only more flat, windswept land. The Force covered the rolling plains like a sparkling mist. Further away, past a frozen river, beyond the black shadowy forest, it shone like a beacon.

Obi-Wan went limp in Qui-Gon's arms. The man dashed forward.

The Force was calling, tugging at Qui-Gon to follow. He did his best, but the wind fought him at every step. The Jedi Master passed the woods and reached the hilly ground. Obi-Wan was a dead weight in his arms. The clouds raced overhead. The windstorm was upon them. Qui-Gon stumbled, clutching his precious bundle to his chest.

/Padawan, stay with me,/ he sent through the bond, hoping the boy would hear him.

_Come_, the Force sang. _Follow_.

Qui-Gon staggered forward, half blind. His left foot sank to the side and down. The Jedi Master swayed. The snow was falling away, revealing an entrance, a cave. It was small and musty smelling. But a rocky passage twisted at the entry, blocking out the worst of the weather. The sandy floor was clean and almost warm.

Qui-Gon lay Obi-Wan down and sank to the ground beside him. For a time, he sat unmoving, catching his breath, feeling the warmth snake its way to his limbs, tingling, burning, hurting. He took a heartbeat longer to thaw, then rose to his knees. Obi-Wan lay as he had left him. Qui-Gon sighed, warmed his ice-cold hands and bent over his apprentice.

Sickness radiated from the boy. Qui-Gon clenched his jaw. Obi-Wan had had only light clothing on him when the crew of the ship had dragged him outside. The men had been dressed in cloaks, gloves, boots and hoods. And they were Delanorians, used to their home-planet's freezing temperatures. The child had worn only a tunic and leggings while they had… toyed with him.

Qui-Gon tore himself away from the thoughts with a growl. His anger would not help Obi-Wan. The boy needed warmth. He needed the reassurance that the places his raging fever took him to were not real. Qui-Gon unwrapped the cloak from the slim shoulders. Beneath, the garments were dripping wet. Qui-Gon swore viciously, then put a gentle hand on Obi-Wan's brow as if in apology.

'These clothes have to go,' he murmured.

The boy slept on, pale and unresponsive. But first things first. Qui-Gon needed to lower the fever. He took a deep breath, centered himself and reached for the Force. His hands shook with the power of the healing. Afterwards, taking advantage of Obi-Wan's unconsciousness, Qui-Gon stripped him deftly. He massaged the warmth back into the stiff limbs, his hands huge and careful on the much smaller body.

The boy slept through it all. He didn't wake when Qui-Gon clothed him in his own tunic, or when Qui-Gon arranged a bed of furred cloaks for them both. Obi-Wan stayed unaware of the big arms around him, giving shelter and warmth.

Qui-Gon settled with his back against the cave wall. The cloaks, gathered from their fallen assailants, protected well against the coldness of the earth. Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan closer. He positioned the boy's back to his chest. Obi-Wan's lower body rested between Qui-Gon's outstretched legs. The Padawan lay still in his arms. His shields swept away by the illness, Obi-Wan was completely open to Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master pressed his head against the wall and closed his eyes. It was not only the illness that affected the boy's mental guards so. It was trust. Pure and undiluted still, after New Apsolon, after everything. A jolt of pain shot through Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan relied on him to survive this alien world. The Padawan had put his hopes, his life in his Master's hands.

Something twisted inside the man. The darkness of the cave deepened as he looked down upon the sleeping, drawn face.

_So open. So vulnerable. Innocent. _

There was much more intimacy between the two of them since their time together on the ship. More intimacy than ever before. It would take little – one inappropriate thought. Not even a gesture. Their bond was so strong, they had become so attuned to one another on that starship, that one thought on his behalf would be enough. Qui-Gon's breath caught. One thought, and he knew that Obi-Wan would feel it and respond.

_Defenseless. Innocent. Open._

'Force!'

The single word was a prayer, a curse and a cry for help. Qui-Gon had never been attracted to men, much less to boys. Had they been in close quarters for too long, Obi-Wan and he?

The trust flew between them like a golden river, sparkling, jeweled with faith in each other. One wrong thought, one wrong move, and that trust would be tarnished and torn. Qui-Gon let his head fall forward, his cheek resting against Obi-Wan's damp hair. He still held the boy in his arms. One hand on Obi-Wan's chest monitored the breathing and the heartbeat. Should Qui-Gon release him?

_I will lose him. Oh Force, I'm going to lose him too._

This time, through no fault of the boy.

The Master shook and shuddered as though ill himself. His Padawan's vulnerability brought out the protector in him. Did it also bring out the predator? Did Qui-Gon Jinn, a Master Jedi, harbor this stain in the dark recesses of his heart?

_Was this what Xanatos had seen and hated in me so?_

The idea came unbidden. It unbalanced Qui-Gon. He took slow, even breaths. The control was hard won, but the victory was his. Know yourself, his old Master had used to say. Qui-Gon lifted his chin and laughed in the bitter darkness. He would protect his apprentice against the cold, the pain, the fever and the dreaming sickness. But he needed not protect Obi-Wan from himself. Not tonight. Not ever. He could remain the boy's Master.

Qui-Gon blinked slowly. Obi-Wan's pain was like a beacon to him. Qui-Gon let one hand rest on his Padawan's thigh. Permanent damage? He would not accept this verdict. He was not a healer, but he was a Jedi Master and the Force was with him. This wound was his to mend. Qui-Gon smiled crookedly, whispered something to the unconscious youth, and set to work.

* * *

That's it, for now. Thank you for reading. Next - Obi-Wan wakes up, for better or for worse...

Happy Holidays, everyone! And a Happy New Year! May your days be filled with peace, love and joy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Valairy Scot** : *Takes a deep, happy breath* Ah, such an insightful review. Thank you! You are right, there are parallels between the warmth-healing and the cold-hurt. I realized early on that the story wanted to go that way. So I followed :)

It is true, Obi-Wan chooses to trust again. It's also a more mature way to react than his earlier anger, even though it was completely natural.

As for the darkness, it plays a role. At least, I'm trying to make it so :)

Thank you for reviewing!

**Rangermaid** : Of course Qui-Gon would worry about a thing like _that_! I'd be worried if he didn't :)

Here is the next chapter. And, Happy New Year!

Chapter 13

Trust

The snowstorm had passed. Qui-Gon had dozed off, drained by the healing and by the inner struggle. He had weathered his own tempest. When he woke up, the snow had sealed the cave off from the outside world. The night breathed quietly. The Jedi checked on his apprentice, found him resting peacefully and crept out.

His dark clothes were completely white by the time he crawled through the thick layer of the new snow. Qui-Gon shook it from his eyes and hair and straightened. He was enclosed by a shoulder-high whiteness from all sides. The Jedi Master blinked. Despite Obi-Wan's and his predicament, the sheer beauty of this world was overwhelming. The stars - Qui-Gon remembered them from his last stay. They were as bright as in his memory. The full moon rode high overhead, casting everything in its pale, surreal glow. The snow shimmered with muted radiance. Qui-Gon took a deep breath. He would meditate later. Right now, there were more pressing matters at hand.

* * *

Obi-Wan awoke slowly. For a moment, he lay still, savoring the warmth of his bed. He wasn't in his room next to the crèche. His bed there had been smaller, but softer. He wasn't in his lodgings in the initiates' wing. Quite frankly, he hadn't been there for so long, he didn't remember what sleeping there felt like. He wasn't in Qui-Gon's quarters, either. But Obi-Wan felt the Master's presence nearby. The boy yawned and snuggled deeper into the bedcovers. The fur tickled his nose. Obi-Wan frowned without opening his eyes. Since when did he have furrowed pillows? His memory seemed fuzzy. Why did his limbs feel so heavy?

He was tired, his mind informed him.

Yes, Obi-Wan agreed. Tired. That was it. Needed more sleep. He'd ask about the furry bed later. Qui-Gon was a Jedi Master ; he would know.

There came a scuffling sound from close by. Obi-Wan burrowed further into the warmth of the bed. Sleep, he told himself. Sleep. But the noise refused to stop. It dragged, shuffled and, instead of dying off, kept coming closer. With an exasperated sigh, Obi-Wan pried one eye open. The sight made him sit up straight and stare. Qui-Gon was in the entrance. White from head to toe, the Master was bent double, pulling something inside the cave.

Cave?

Obi-Wan's sluggish mind assessed the situation warily. They were in a cave. A small, dark, dreary, cold cave. And his Master, crouching low in order to pass, was hauling in...

'Force!' Obi-Wan exclaimed. 'A dead pathetic life-form?'

Qui-Gon whirled around.

'Padawan!' he greeted. 'Welcome back to the world of the living.'

Still squatting, his hair hanging in frozen disarray around his face, the usually tidy Master resembled some kind of a snow beast. Obi-Wan gaped.

'You…' he babbled. 'You… Where in the Force's name are we?'

Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow.

'Take your time to wake, Padawan mine.'

Obi-Wan heard but the understanding was slow to come. He watched instead. Icicles clung to Qui-Gon's eyebrows. As the elder man spoke, the icicles moved in cadence with his words. They thawed and dripped, too.

'Icy-Gon!' Obi-Wan giggled.

Both eyebrows soared. The apprentice laughed at the sight, then fell backwards into the waiting bed, suddenly breathless. The cave was dimming and tilting around him. Obi-Wan gasped. A cool hand touched his forehead.

'Easy, Padawan. It will take some time for your strength to return. You have been ill.'

A wooden cup appeared before Obi-Wan's lips. He gulped the offered water. To his surprise it was hot.

When he woke next, Qui-Gon was sitting cross-legged at his side. The man lifted a bowl, a smile wrinkling the corners of his eyes.

'Hungry?'

Obi-Wan's stomach growled at the warm, rich smell that wafted to his nose.

'You cooked?' he said in amazement. 'We hadn't had warm food since Coruscant.'

Qui-Gon set the bowl aside, took Obi-Wan under the armpits and hefted him upright.

'We do now. Go on. Eat. It's not as bad as it looks.'

To the boy's ravenous gaze, the stew looked wonderful. And tasted quite good. Obi-Wan's hunger passed all too quickly, though, as the tiredness came. He lay down once more.

'Thank you, Master. Didn't recognize the meat. What was it?' he mumbled, half-asleep already.

Qui-Gon chuckled.

'Something native to the land, Padawan.'

Obi-Wan sat up. A memory lurked in the back of his mind. His Master, with the snow covering every inch of him, squatting, dragging something into the cave. Icy-Gon… No! No, no, no, no. He didn't call his Master _that_, did he?

'You did,' confirmed Qui-Gon's deep, amused voice.

Obi-Wan jerked. His face burned as he looked askance at the older man.

'Your shields, Padawan,' Qui-Gon reminded him gently. 'You're transmitting.'

'Oh…' Obi-Wan struggled for a moment. The Force was slow to obey. Then another idea struck and he let go of the half-raised shields. 'You hunted!'

Qui-Gon looked surprised at the wildness in his tone.

'Well, yes. I figured it would be nice to eat at some point this year.'

'But… But you went alone!'

'Indeed, Padawan.'

There was a smile in Qui-Gon's voice. Obi-Wan's hands fisted in the coats around his waist.

'I should have gone with you!'

Qui-Gon just looked at him. Obi-Wan's temper sputtered and died under the calm gaze. He bowed his head. Why couldn't he control his emotions, anymore?

'Go with me?' Qui-Gon queried, lifting the boy's chin with one long finger. 'Why?'

'You… hunting,' stammered Obi-Wan. 'I _needed_ to see that. Geez, nobody will believe me.'

Oh Force, he sounded like a petulant child.

_What is wrong with me?_

'Nothing's wrong, Padawan,' replied Qui-Gon to his unvoiced thought. 'You have been ill. Just give yourself some time.'

It was then that Obi-Wan caught sight of the tunic he was wearing. A very huge and a very familiar tunic. The boy closed his eyes in mortification. Oh, no. He had been sick enough for Qui-Gon to strip him.

_Your Master had to save you again, _a voice whispered in his mind._ You're an_ _embarrassment, Obi-Wan._

Qui-Gon pushed him back down and arranged the covers.

'You know better, Padawan,' he said, maddeningly calm. 'Now, rest.'

The boy curled on his side, facing Qui-Gon.

'Don't tell me what to do,' he muttered, then stilled in shock. His hands flew to cover his mouth. He met Qui-Gon's gaze uncertainly. 'Did I… Did I just say it out loud?'

Qui-Gon laughed long and hard.

'At this point, Padawan, does it make much difference?'

Obi-Wan blinked up at him, miserable. No, with his shields still down, it didn't.

'You're not angry,' he said in a whisper.

'Why should I be? I gather you don't react this way to each one of my instructions.'

Obi-Wan was horrified.

'No! Master, no, you can't think that. I don't…'

'I know that you don't, Obi-Wan.' Qui-Gon's tone was soothing. He gestured to Obi-Wan to lie down. 'Rest. You'll feel better afterwards.'

'If you give me a memory wipe, I might,' growled the boy.

* * *

When he awoke next, Obi-Wan found his clothes in a neat pile at his side. He changed quickly. When Qui-Gon came back, from a meditation by the contented, peaceful look of him, he found his apprentice waiting.

'Qui-Gon, we need to talk,' said Obi-Wan.

A shadow passed over Qui-Gon's face. Obi-Wan swallowed hard.

'I'm not Xanatos!' he burst out suddenly.

The boy's breathing was uneven. He seemed on the verge of tears. The sickness was slow to depart and he was weakened, unbalanced. More vulnerable and more open with his emotions.

Qui-Gon sat down at Obi-Wan's side.

'No, Padawan, you're grumpier.'

The boy looked up, his eyes huge and wet.

'I didn't mean to say that,' he confessed.

Qui-Gon hid away the sudden hilarity that bubbled just beneath the surface.

'Your control will return, Obi-Wan. Patience. Why did you say that?'

Obi-Wan hung his head. This misery was becoming a habit. At least he had managed to raise his shields, this time.

'Your face changed when I asked for a talk. I didn't want you to think…' The control was slipping again. Obi-Wan grasped at the fraying edges of his self-respect. 'I didn't want you to think that I was spoiled,' he concluded painfully.

'You did not ask for a talk. You requested one,' Qui-Gon said after a pause. 'I reacted to your tone and I apologize. You are not Xanatos, thankfully. But I am still the man who had taught him. If you need to talk, Padawan, we will.'

The boy seemed unhappy, not relieved, at the turn of events.

'What is it, Obi-Wan?'

'You're not the same man who had taught Xanatos,' Obi-Wan whispered.

Qui-Gon considered the statement carefully. It was yet new for him to think of his fallen apprentice without pain and guilt. Qui-Gon ran a hand through his hair. He smiled at the young face that looked at him so earnestly.

'You are right, Obi-Wan. What did you want to talk about?'

Obi-Wan took a slow breath. His fingers twisted the hem of his shirt.

'I don't like it that you risk your life for me. It's not right.'

Qui-Gon's brow furrowed. The Jedi Knights and Masters pledged to protect their apprentices with their lives. Obi-Wan knew this. Or he would have known, if his head was clear.

'Those men from the ship, they didn't want me,' continued the boy. 'Not in a way that mattered. They wanted to harm you by taking me, and they almost succeeded. And the snowstorm… I don't even remember walking. Don't remember anything, really, except for you keeping me alive. It's not about being a burden. At least, I don't think it is. But, with my leg and all, wouldn't you be better off alone, Master?'

Qui-Gon stared at the dark wall for so long that the Padawan began to fidget beside him.

'You have a pure heart, young one,' Qui-Gon said at last, his voice hoarse. 'I was alone for a long time, Obi-Wan. There are different kinds of threats. Some are from outside, but the worst come from within. When you feel better, I think you'll understand. You are a help to me, Obi-Wan. Never doubt that.'

'I don't doubt you,' murmured the boy.

Qui-Gon leaned forward.

'You doubt yourself, Padawan. It is worse. Master Yoda has faith in you. The least you can do is have faith in yourself.'

'Do you have faith in me?'

The whisper came unbidden. From Obi-Wan's sudden stiffening, Qui-Gon knew that the exhaustion had won over his control once again. The Master laid a hand on the still too warm brow.

'You are my Padawan learner, child.'

Coming from that man, it was enough.

* * *

'Holy Sith!'

'We really need to do something about your vocabulary, Padawan.'

'My leg,' Obi-Wan mumbled, sitting up from his ungraceful sprawl on the cave floor. 'How long have I been asleep, Master?'

Qui-Gon pursed his lips.

'Not even one whole night.'

The Padawan threw both arms towards the low ceiling.

'Master, please! You may have fallen in love with this world's « wild beauty », but those nights are endless! Honestly, how can people take so much darkness at a time?'

'You'd be surprised at what people can take,' replied Qui-Gon, before relenting. 'All in all, four standard days. Does your leg hurt?'

The boy looked puzzled.

'No. That's the problem.'

'How so?'

'It has always hurt since…'

Obi-Wan twitched a little, unwilling to say more.

'If the pain is gone, what bothers you?' Qui-Gon asked.

'The fact that I can't walk?' Obi-Wan shot back with a scowl.

'One step, you fall and you give up? Come on. This isn't you. You've been abed too long. I think your head is worse off than your legs.'

Obi-Wan peered up at him.

'Did you do something while I was unconscious?'

Qui-Gon reached down and hauled the apprentice on his feet. He shifted Obi-Wan's left arm around his shoulders and took the boy by the waist.

'Stop talking. Start moving.'

Obi-Wan's eyes went wide.

'You did do something.'

'Walk,' ordered Qui-Gon.

The Padawan limped one step, then another. He frowned in concentration. A sheen of perspiration covered his face. Obi-Wan balanced himself with the Force once Qui-Gon let him continue on his own.

'Something's different,' the boy gasped.

'Good.'

Obi-Wan flopped down beside Qui-Gon, breathless.

'The pain's gone. How did you do it?'

'Padawan, why does everything that happens to you have to be connected with me?'

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

'Because it usually is. Master…'

He bit his lips, unsure of the reason to Qui-Gon's reluctance. Obi-Wan knew that this healing, or whatever it was, was Qui-Gon's doing. The Jedi Master's Force signature shone so brightly, testified to such strength and concentration of energy delivered, that Obi-Wan couldn't understand how he had slept through it all.

'Master, I thank you,' he said, eyes soft and bright. 'But how? The healers at the Temple couldn't do anything.'

Qui-Gon touched his cheek with gentle fingers.

'It was mine to undo, Obi-Wan. I hoped the limp would go also. I'm sorry.'

Qui-Gon would not say more. After a time, Obi-Wan let the subject drop. If his Master was unwilling to explain, then, perhaps, it was not necessary for him to understand. He didn't need to know everything, after all. His Master had somehow taken the pain away. For now, it was more than enough.

Later, when the sleep had slowed Obi-Wan's breath, Qui-Gon lay awake by his side. The boy's presence was bright with faith and hope. With trust – whole and untarnished by Qui-Gon's bout with darkness. How he was grateful that Obi-Wan had been unconscious at the time. Otherwise… No. Qui-Gon would not dwell on that. There was enough darkness outside. He needed not add his own shadows. Obi-Wan had been so embarrassed to discover that Qui-Gon had clothed him in his own tunic. But there had been no question in his unguarded, still feverish mind, about his Master's intentions. No doubt at all. Pure heart, indeed.

Obi-Wan's most vivid recollection of his illness was Qui-Gon. The memory of his Master's gentleness and patience eclipsed even the shame Obi-Wan felt every time he thought about the things he had said to the older man. Qui-Gon hadn't berated him, hadn't raised or hardened his voice once. Obi-Wan had been sick, yes. And Qui-Gon was a caring man. But the concern and affection he had bestowed far outshone everything in Obi-Wan's limited experience of these situations.

Qui-Gon was a man of few words. He might never wish to talk about what had come to pass. But whether Qui-Gon admitted it or not, Obi-Wan knew that something had happened to his Master while he himself had slept, oblivious to the world. Something had changed for the better. And so Obi-Wan would accept and respect Qui-Gon's wish for privacy. He would trust his teacher like before. Like always.

* * *

A/N : Well, the chapter had a different rhythm to it. Was it to your liking? Or was it too slow, too weird?

It could almost be the story's end, huh? My muse thinks so. She left, after this chapter, and didn't come back. Must be frozen somewhere, looking at the Christmas decorations. But there will be a bit more, since I want to get the two Jedi off the planet. Hoping that it's good news :)

Happy New Year, everyone!


	14. Chapter 14

**Valairy Scot** : You'd like to see more? You definitely will. I'm not done with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan quite yet. There are still a couple of chapters left. And at the end, I think, there might be less than more left to the imagination.

**Rangermaid** : I'm glad you liked the chapter. Each time the humour shows up in my writing, I get a horrible, sinking feeling that is usually justified. I can't write humour. Just can't. In the previous chapter, it crept in and stayed. I'm so relieved that you liked.

Chapter 14

Of visions and encounters

The darkness still filled the sky when the two Jedi left the cave. Obi-Wan's gait was uneven, but they made good progress across the snow covered vastness. The silent fields stretched out before them. Frozen rivers snaked away, blue and glittering in the moonlight.

Qui-Gon breathed in deeply. 'Padawan,' he announced, 'I think the spring is close.'

Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow at his mentor.

'Do define close, Master.'

Qui-Gon laughed.

'Before you turn old and grey, Padawan.'

The cold air stung and bit the unprotected skin, but the two men were drenched with sweat. The ice-crusted snow was knee deep. It crunched and gave way at each step.

'Thank you, Master,' panted Obi-Wan. 'It is very reassuring.'

'You're welcome.'

Obi-Wan grinned up at Qui-Gon, then pitched forward with a yelp. Qui-Gon's arm shot out to catch him. Obi-Wan straightened up.

'Thank y… The dawn!'

Qui-Gon turned towards a faint brightness that adorned the eastern sky.

'It is only days away, now,' he nodded.

Obi-Wan's mouth hung open.

'Days? I'll never get used to this planet.'

Qui-Gon looked up at the star filled sky. He stretched and beamed at the boy.

'I admit I find the idea of always having time in abundance rather enjoyable. Just imagine meditating here.'

Obi-Wan shuddered.

'It's the cold,' he muttered, cheeks burning at Qui-Gon's outburst of laughter.

They travelled on, this time in single line, with Qui-Gon opening the way through the snow. Hours later, the dawn was only a little brighter. The two Jedi rested, savoring the leftovers of Qui-Gon's hunts.

'Master?' queried Obi-Wan, swallowing a mouthful of an unknown, but good tasting meat.

Qui-Gon looked down from the blue and silver streaked sky.

'Yes?'

'I wondered. Do Delanorians follow the rhythm of their planet? I mean, do they sleep for twenty days and then are awake for ten or so?'

'Their wakefulness and sleep are similar to ours,' Qui-Gon answered, pushing more provisions towards the boy. 'But the planet's slow rotation does give them a very long life span.'

Obi-Wan considered the new information.

'Master,' he said at last, 'may I ask where we are headed?'

'There is a lake country ahead of us. We could find work in one of the smaller fisher settlements. It will give us food, money and, hopefully, the information about the political situation. We'll need to know more before going to the capital.'

* * *

The lake, as Obi-Wan discovered later, was actually a maze of several lakes, rivers, ponds and marshes. But as he and Qui-Gon stood on a hill overlooking the wild country, the white and frozen water expanse seemed as disproportionate as everything else on Delanor. Obi-Wan saw where it began, but not where it ended.

'We won't lack work as fishermen, at least,' said Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to disagree. Fishing, at a scale large enough to earn them enough money for, say, a transport, was unrealistic with all this ice blocking the way.

'Master…' the boy started, only to be silenced by a low, grinding noise that quickly grew in volume.

The wind brought them a roaring, earsplitting sound. Obi-Wan took a step back.

'By the Force!'

The ice was groaning below, crushing and breaking with the voice of thunder. Obi-Wan wanted to cover his ears. Instead, he watched the white surface shatter, caught in the moment of utter horror and amazement. The black waves leapt between splintering slabs.

'The spring is coming.'

Qui-Gon's voice held a hint of a smile. His shocked into silence Padawan made quite a sight, the disbelief and astonishment written all over the young face. The nature's gifts, even as raucous as a lake shaking itself free of its winter fetters, were what Qui-Gon missed the most on the civilized, climate controlled, grey at the edges Coruscant. He missed the freedom of the wilderness in the Temple. The joy of living could be overlooked when duty was done for duty's sake alone. The Council was all stark duty. But the Jedi Order should not be!

The Force washed over Qui-Gon. The darkness of this hour before the dawn, the nature's great upheaval and the thoughts about the Jedi Order, somehow, clicked together. Sorrow filled the Jedi's blue gaze.

'Master?'

The call brought its own shadows and its own light. Obi-Wan was looking at him with worry. The Force was humming in Qui-Gon yet. He shivered. The boy that he had come to love disappeared suddenly. A man stood in his place. Years of loneliness, of guilt, of bitter memories hung about him like a tattered cloak. His face was wrinkled with more than age. Qui-Gon reached out towards the one who had been his Padawan.

_Why are you so alone? Why do you not seek healing? _

Obi-Wan's soul was scarred, but his eyes were still gentle, still bright. « I will not turn, » Obi-Wan had told Qui-Gon at their first encounter. And he hadn't. Not even in the bleak, heartless, hopel…

'Master!'

That voice again. The vision deepened. A blood-red blaze filled the sky. Qui-Gon watched two suns set down, and saw the coming of the darkness. Endless, starless gloom, as if night had fallen on the universe. Qui-Gon saw a pale road stretch out before his Padawan. Obi-Wan set forth with quiet, dry eyes. Calm, focused, a true Jedi. Yet he kept his head low and walked as one burdened.

The Force was retreating fast. Qui-Gon turned away from the dark and the veil of time lifted for a heartbeat. The Master saw a dawn at the end of Obi-Wan's lonely path. A light pulsed there, gentle and shy like a child's heart. Obi-Wan, his Obi-Wan, only older, walked on, unseeing. Qui-Gon gripped him by the shoulders.

'You are the one to carry on,' he said, pouring his heart into the simple words. 'There is no blame for you. Only gratitude.'

Then he was back on Delanor, on the hill that overlooked the churning black waters. Obi-Wan stood before him, white-faced and so still that his breath seemed to have stopped. Qui-Gon let his hands drop from his Padawan's shoulders. The boy was whole yet, yet untouched by the grief Qui-Gon had seen.

The Jedi took a lungful of the pure, freezing air, and looked away. To Yoda, the future appeared ever shifting. And maybe it was so. But the knowledge that lay in Qui-Gon's heart was of a different kind. The Living Force did not shift and change. It existed, it knew. And now so did he.

'Master,' Obi-Wan said for the third time.

Qui-Gon shook his head. It was hard to form words. He smiled instead.

'Master, is everything all right?'

'Forgive me, Padawan. I was distracted.'

'The Force was with you.' Obi-Wan studied the older man for a long moment. 'Is it something I should know?'

Qui-Gon's hands were on his shoulders again. The big Jedi was searching his face for something that Obi-Wan could not fathom.

/Master? Is something wrong?/

The reassurance that flew through the bond was tinged with pain.

/No, Padawan./

/Will you not tell me what you saw?/

Qui-Gon turned away.

'Let's leave the future alone for a few years more. Come. I think we'll find a settlement down there.'

* * *

The lake sprawled at the foot of the hill. The two Jedi paused on the shore covered with chunks of the thick, blue-green ice. The water whispered further away, cold and brittle. Qui-Gon fingered Obi-Wan's braid.

'You'll have to hide it.'

'Yes, Master.'

'We are travelers seeking for work. If they don't look too close, we might pass off as locals.'

'Yes, Master.'

Qui-Gon looked the boy over.

'Obi-Wan, it would be best if we present ourselves as father and son.'

The young Padawan dropped his eyes, suddenly fascinated by his boots.

'As you wish, Master.'

Qui-Gon gazed at him a moment longer. The boy had been open, even cheeky since his recovery in the cave. Now, his utter formality was telling. Qui-Gon tipped Obi-Wan's head up.

'You don't like the idea.'

'No!' Obi-Wan gulped. 'I mean, yes. It's the best way, seeing our age difference. I understand. It's not that I don't want to.' The boy blushed. 'I would be honored, Qui-Gon.'

Qui-Gon circled the thin shoulders with his arm.

'Come, let us be off.'

Obi-Wan stumbled a little, then found his footing. A flare of mischief stole over his features.

'I'll do my best to work, but I'm afraid you're saddled with a cripple for a son, Master.'

Qui-Gon steered him toward the little wooden abodes that littered the valley before them.

'If the people hear you call me that, they might get some interesting ideas.'

Obi-Wan sobered.

'They won't,' he promised. 'And the limp doesn't bother me that much, now that the pain is gone.'

'Good.'

Their conversation stopped at the outskirts of the village. People were coming towards them. The group consisted of six weather worn men and one woman. As they approached, it became clear from the woman's bearing that she was in command.

'Who are you?' she asked. 'What do you want?'

Obi-Wan stood a respectful three paces behind his 'father'. He kept his head down, his braid tucked securely in his tunic. He examined the woman from beneath his eyelashes. She seemed all silvery to him – her hair, her eyes, even her skin appeared tinged with silver hue. The latter though, was probably due to the lighting of the almost day.

Qui-Gon's attempt to pass them off as locals was dispatched with cold disdain.

'Don't take me for a fool,' the woman warned. 'Who are you?'

'Travelers,' replied Qui-Gon, matching her tone. 'I am Mace Windu and this is my son Ben.'

Obi-Wan bowed low in greeting, pressing his lips together against a flash of hilarity. Ben sounded all right. But of all the names Qui-Gon could have chosen for himself...!

'What do you want?'

'Food. Shelter. Work.'

Obi-Wan stared directly ahead. His Master was winning the contest for conciseness hands down. The woman had still ways to go to achieve the Jedi's masterful art of saving his breath. How such a… challenge… would impact on them getting a welcome remained to be seen. Obi-Wan schooled his face into an impassive mask. The woman resembled Qui-Gon in many ways, not the least his build! If only she could share Qui-Gon's fascination with pathetic life forms... The two Jedi were sweaty, smelly, damp and hungry. Obi-Wan didn't need the delegation's disgusted glances to know Qui-Gon and he qualified perfectly to his Master's peculiar standards. If the woman could be alike Qui-Gon in that matter too…

'Food, shelter, work. In that order, huh?' She lifted her chin and laughed. 'I'm Syvrenn Ta. This is my village. You may come.'

Obi-Wan gaped.

_She really is like him._

Syvrenn Ta watched Obi-Wan advance with hooded eyes.

'The boy has been hurt,' she stated.

Qui-Gon stopped. Syvrenn Ta and he gazed at each other.

'You have been hurt,' she told him, the shadow deepening over her features.

The two Jedi stood motionless.

/Force-sensitive./The thought rushed between them through the bond.

Syvrenn Ta shook away the shadows and turned towards her village.

'We have spare lodgings and, if you like fish, you'll have food.' She threw the two men a glance over her shoulder. 'Do I need to warn you against harming my people?'

'No,' replied Qui-Gon.

'Then you may come.'

She headed towards the scattered houses, her skirts and her hair flying in the wind. Qui-Gon followed. Obi-Wan trailed them both in silence. The six men brought up the rear.

'As for work,' Syvrenn Ta added, 'it will be dangerous while the ices last.'

'We'll manage,' said Qui-Gon.

She shrugged. 'I know.'

* * *

Thank you for reading. This chapter was not easy to write. I hope it doesn't come across as too strange.


	15. Chapter 15

**Rangermaid** : Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have been each other's company for most of the chapters, you are right. At some point, they were bound to meet other people. I'm glad you like where the story is going so far. Glad also that the original character didn't put you off. Thank you for reviewing!

**Valairy Scot** : Coming from you, who have such a way with words, the praise on Qui-Gon's vision means a lot. Thank you!

Chapter 15

Father

Slowly, ever so slowly, the endless Delanorian night drew to a close. Three days after Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had entered the fisher village of Syvrenn Ta, the sun rose. The sight stopped the two Jedi in their tasks. They were in one of the seven boats that floated between the slabs of ice that still littered the great lake. Other boats contained two to four crew members each. The men were busy spreading the nets.

The nights could shine on Delanor, but the mornings… Qui-Gon let go of the oars. The net slipped into the boat from Obi-Wan's suddenly lax fingers. The lake, far to the east, was an unperturbed watery mirror. Then color leapt into the sky, turning silver to gold and lilac to fire. The deep blue trembled with one last vanishing star.

Obi-Wan had not yet seen the sun on Delanor. It had been dusk when the Jedi had landed. And it had been night ever since. Now, the first rays traced a path of light across the water. A breeze sprinkled the waves with dancing sparks. Obi-Wan forgot to breathe. The beauty spread and grew until his heart ached in his chest. The world was made of sunshine and of golden silence. Obi-Wan blinked away the tears of joy.

'Never seen a dawn like this,' he murmured.

To lift his voice would have been a sin, an unbearable offense. Obi-Wan wished that this magic spell could last forever. The ordered cleanliness of Coruscant could never compare. He understood Qui-Gon a little better, now.

* * *

'Please, Ben, do enlighten me. Was it really necessary to race upon the ice blocks?'

Obi-Wan's head shot up.

'Of course!' He sounded offended. 'Besides, I wasn't racing. It was a necessary maneuver.'

'Indeed?'

The Master and the Padawan were walking side by side, returning from a long day's work. They had sold their catch, keeping only enough for their meal. The price was low, but they were lucky to get any money at all. The village suffered from the threat of the outlaws who ruled the lands in the wake of the governmental defeat. The thugs appeared out of nowhere, blocked the roads, attacked without reason and pillaged without thought. The trade was going downhill, but Syvrenn Ta had promised payment to the two travelers. Whatever her reasoning in such times - maybe she wanted the strangers out of her village as soon as possible, maybe, despite her gruff appearance, she truly wished to help - so far, she had kept her word. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had shelter and work. At some point in the future, they would be able to leave. But for the moment, the two Jedi were making their way towards the little wooden house that had become their temporary home.

'And this… maneuver… was necessary how?'

Obi-Wan's green-gray eyes sparkled.

'The fishing net was caught on the other side of the ice slab,' he replied. 'I needed to free it, or you and the boat were going under water.'

Qui-Gon snorted, hard pressed not to laugh. He was happy to see the boy so at ease. Privately, Qui-Gon was also impressed with Obi-Wan's control. No matter how much they bantered and laughed, the Padawan never slipped, never called him Master while in the earshot of the villagers.

'Ah, so this shameless display… Pardon me, necessary maneuver, was on my behalf solely?' inquired the Jedi Master.

The Padawan fluttered his eyelashes, all innocence.

'All my displays are for you, father.'

Qui-Gon blinked. Father? Obi-Wan had called him such numerous times since their arrival in the village. But never in private and never with such honesty and abandon. For a heartbeat, Obi-Wan looked like a terrified child. Then he dropped his eyes.

'Forgive me,' the boy murmured. 'I was out of line.'

Obi-Wan's breath caught. So much for remaining in control. He hadn't called Qui-Gon 'Master' in public, but this slip was worse. What could he say now to justify his blunder? That he had been caught in the role? Then what? Block out the bond and pretend not to see the frown on his Master's face? No, Obi-Wan would not lie. Qui-Gon saw right through him, anyway.

Obi-Wan could feel the weight of Qui-Gon's gaze. Oh Force, how had he managed to reveal his heart's truth with one single word? Obi-Wan had never meant to show these emotions. Whether they were his own particular failing, or some kind of sentimentality unworthy of a Jedi, Obi-Wan did not know. He wasn't sure how or when it had happened. Somewhere along the way, Qui-Gon had become more than a teacher to him. Obi-Wan couldn't help it. Despite New Apsolon, despite everything, he was drawn to Qui-Gon, to his light and his warmth. But it was not Obi-Wan's place to ask for more than he already had. He was Padawan to the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. It was enough. Only, his heart wanted to give more.

'Please look at me.' Qui-Gon's voice was quiet.

Obi-Wan swallowed but did not obey. Qui-Gon and he had almost reached their cabin. They were alone, with nobody to overhear.

'It's all about burdens again, Master,' Obi-Wan replied, keeping his eyes on his clenched hands. 'Forgive me. I'm afraid I'm a very slow learner. I place no claims on you. I demand nothing.'

Obi-Wan felt a slight touch through the bond.

'Talk to me,' Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan shivered. Talk? Acknowledge the things he had hidden away for years? Maybe he couldn't. But the words came, raw, scorching him from inside out.

'I love you. As a teacher, as a guide and as a father. Please, forgive me, Master. Those feelings are mine to bear. They will not interfere with the training. They have not. I apologize for forcing this upon you.'

He went to kneel before the older man, but hands on his shoulders kept him upright. Obi-Wan glanced up into Qui-Gon's compassion-filled eyes.

'Let us go inside,' said the Master.

Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon into their simply furnished quarters. They could act freely here, be themselves. Obi-Wan stood in the middle of the living room, arms nerveless at his sides. He felt drained, hollow. Qui-Gon was in the kitchen, brewing tea, waiting for him. Obi-Wan's steps dragged as they had not in weeks. He entered the little, bright room.

'Please, sit down.' Qui-Gon gestured to the chair opposite the one he had taken. 'I cannot accept your apology, Obi-Wan… Stay. We need to talk.'

Obi-Wan turned his face away.

The kettle whispered. Qui-Gon rose, poured two cups and came back to the table. The Master sat in silence, gathering his thoughts. Obi-Wan curled his hands around the warmth of the cup. A sickening dread churned in his stomach. Qui-Gon started to speak slowly, haltingly.

'I cannot accept your apology, Obi-Wan, because no apology is needed. Love is not a burden. I don't know when it happened. We trained, travelled, fought. I watched you grow. You are like a son to me. I am not sorry for my feelings. Why should you be?'

The words hung between them, unclaimed.

'You don't believe me,' Qui-Gon said finally.

Obi-Wan's voice was lifeless.

'No, Qui-Gon. I can't. You left. You were gone for more than a year.'

The Jedi Master opened the bond wide. /Look, please./

There could be no falsehoods through the bond. But did Obi-Wan wish to know? For some reason, Qui-Gon wanted him to. Obi-Wan took a deep breath. He did not have to search long. There, on the threshold of Qui-Gon's heart, the light welcomed him with joy. It delighted in his presence, delighted in his existence. For some reason, it delighted in him.

Obi-Wan gaped.

'But the Code,' he blurted out. 'No attachments…?'

'Attachments are no love!' Qui-Gon exclaimed, genuinely perplexed by his Padawan's answer.

The boy clutched the cup between white, stiff fingers. His face contorted. He did not want to bring this up. He had his Master back, their bond was mended. Obi-Wan didn't want to throw it all away. But he needed to know the truth. A single name slipped through his lips :

'Tahl?'

He had finally dared. And even if Obi-Wan wilted with dread, even if Qui-Gon's heartache felt like a knife to his gut, Obi-Wan would not back down. Because his Master had taught him a lesson on New Apsolon that Obi-Wan was not about to forget. Love, attachment and darkness had been one and the same, there. Since that day, Obi-Wan had sought to rip love out of his own heart. Poor, deluded fool, to have believed that he had succeeded.

Qui-Gon squeezed his eyes shut. His head was bent, his face concealed by his brown mane. For one horrifying moment Obi-Wan thought he had heard his Master weep. But when Qui-Gon looked at him, blue eyes darkened with pain, there were no tears.

'Obi-Wan, when a Master teaches lessons such as these, he fails. I'll report to Master Yoda upon our return to Coruscant. You deserve to be taught by someone you can trust. I will…'

A loud banging from the door interrupted him. Both Jedi sprang to their feet. The door flew open and Syvrenn Ta appeared in the passage, a blaster in each hand. Qui-Gon leapt in front of Obi-Wan, his lightsaber drawn. Had the woman overheard? Then their time of safety was over.

* * *

Well, the unresolved issues of the earlier chapters are back. I hope their return is not entirely unwelcome. Thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Valairy Scot** : _«And I really, really want to see how Qui-Gon justifies his actions.»_

Ah, you've been curious about Qui-Gon's reasons from the very beginning, haven't you? I'll do my best to answer. I'll try. Whether I succeed or not is another matter :)

Thank you for reviewing!

**Rangermaid** : Dense? Just Obi? No, no, no. These two are perfectly able to be dense together.

_«dare I think that we may be seeing some action soon?»_

LOL. Yes, but more so in the next chapter.

Chapter 16

Delanor

Syvrenn Ta gasped at the sight of the glowing sword.

'What the…?'

She blinked, then spoke calmly the message she had barged in to deliver :

'The outlaws are upon us. You and your boy must flee.'

Obi-Wan stepped forward. He stood besides Qui-Gon without looking at him, a stony expression on his face. Qui-Gon turned to the woman.

'No,' he said. 'We will help.'

For the first time ever, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fought side by side as strangers. They were still efficient. They knew each other too well not to be. But even on the ship to Bandomeer, when Qui-Gon had known Obi-Wan for mere days, their bond had been stronger. Now, Obi-Wan had closed it off completely on his end. Qui-Gon could force it open. He would, if his Padawan's life was in danger. But this fight, though ugly and brutal, was not of such sort. If it weren't for Syvrenn Ta, the outlaws would have run for their lives once the two Jedi had joined the fray.

'They'll come back!' cried the woman. 'Don't let them leave. Show no mercy!'

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan deactivated their lightsabers.

'Their death is not necessary!' shouted Qui-Gon

Syvrenn Ta shoved past him, fierce as a she-wolf protecting her little.

'They threatened mine. They're dead!'

Obi-Wan was taken aback by the hatred in her voice. Qui-Gon seized the woman by the shoulders and spun her around. The villagers had pushed the defeated outlaws, half-starved thugs for the most part, face down in the dirt.

'Look at them!' Qui-Gon cried. 'They're vanquished. They're no threat. You don't need their death!'

Several men converged upon the Jedi, knives held at ready. Syvrenn Ta motioned them away.

'What I need is peace,' she replied. 'We cannot have it by showing mercy. Death first. Peace afterwards. It's how it works here, stranger.'

'Is it the way you wish it to work?' asked Qui-Gon, his voice growing softer.

Syvrenn Ta glared, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. 'You know nothing of me.'

'You gave us shelter and work and treated us fairly. Why do you blind yourself with hatred now? For goodness sake! They're young enough to be your grand-children.'

'I don't care about their age,' hissed the woman.

Qui-Gon held her gaze. 'Why not?'

'They have killed.'

'You have not?'

'I had a reason. I protected mine.'

'That claim is pointless when your foes lie defeated.'

Syvrenn Ta grew very still.

'Don't negotiate with me, stranger,' she said, taking a step back.

She crouched beside one pinned down thief and yanked his head upwards. She gazed long into the upturned, youthful face, then rose up, dusting off her robes.

'I'll keep them alive for a little longer. Feed them,' Syvrenn Ta ordered her men, then turned on the two Jedi. 'Go. I'll talk with you later.'

Obi-Wan bristled at being ordered around. Qui-Gon went calmly, unconcerned by the wary glances the fishermen directed their way. The two Jedi neared their lodgings in silence. They ate, rested and meditated each on his own.

Syvrenn Ta came in the evening, subdued as a polite guest.

'Did I wake you? It is late.'

It was, even though the sun shone brightly in the east.

'I've been waiting for you,' replied Qui-Gon.

Syvrenn Ta and Obi-Wan sat down. A few moments later, Qui-Gon emerged from the kitchen bearing a tray with three cups of tea. Syvrenn Ta nodded her thanks.

'You are Jedi.'

Obi-Wan started, then cursed as the scalding liquid splashed over his fingers. Qui-Gon and he had used their lightsabers. Of course the villagers knew who they were, now.

'We are,' nodded Qui-Gon.

'I have heard a little about your kind.' Syvrenn Ta paused, her eyes drawn towards the sunny windows. 'Too kind for our world.'

'Is that what you believe?'

The woman straightened her shoulders.

'I will tell you what I know. Then we'll talk.'

The love for her world was clear on Syvrenn Ta's face as she spoke of the slow, cold, beautiful Delanor. The planet should have been peaceful, but, somehow, never was. Syvrenn Ta regretted that.

'But I don't regret who I am,' she said, eyes flashing. 'I'll kill those prisoners in a heartbeat if they threaten one of my own again.' She sighed. 'And yet, in a way, they too are my own.'

The woman turned the cup in her hands, took one careful sip, then another. A shadow passed over her features.

'There are reprieves from the cold on Delanor, but we don't really have seasons. The spring, as you call it, will be gone soon. The snows will return. Our nights are long, Jedi. We have more darkness than light, and the people are attuned to the planet.'

A nagging suspicion rose at the back of Qui-Gon's mind.

'Attuned?' he echoed. 'How? We've seen your nights. They are neither pitch black nor evil.'

'But they are nights, nevertheless. The cold and the dark creep everywhere - into the souls, into the hearts. The poisoned heart festers. I'm sure you've seen that, here or elsewhere.'

Qui-Gon frowned. This world's darkness affected its people? Was it possible? He felt Obi-Wan's gaze on him. The bond remained silent, but Qui-Gon knew that the boy was thinking about the cave. Qui-Gon was too.

'I have not heard of this during my last stay,' he said.

Syvrenn Ta's lips curved in a mirthless smile.

'We don't brag around about this. There are things that grow in the darkness, if we let them. Insecurities, fear, hatred, lust for power, lust for flesh.'

Both men jerked. Obi-Wan averted his eyes. Insecurities. « Do you have faith in me? » he recalled asking Qui-Gon in the cave. Oh, he remembered well his uncontrolled fears and his outbursts of emotion. Then came the memory of the starship's captain. The man's eyes, his touch, his breath… The cup trembled in Obi-Wan's hands.

'Ben, off to bed with you,' Qui-Gon said quietly. 'It has been a long day.'

Obi-Wan rose without a word. He bowed to their guest, went to the kitchen to rinse his untouched cup, then padded to his little, closet-like room. Two sets of eyes followed him.

'Is he really your son, Jedi?' asked the woman when the door closed behind Obi-Wan.

'He is. In every way that matters, and more.'

Qui-Gon's gaze challenged Syvrenn Ta to doubt his words. She raised an eyebrow, accepting the challenge :

'And more?'

Qui-Gon laughed.

'You really do have a protective streak, don't you?'

Syvrenn Ta looked at him without a trace of mirth.

'You have felt the pull of the darkness,' she said at last. 'Answer me. Who is this boy to you?'

Qui-Gon returned his cup to the tray.

'My apprentice.'

'And?'

'And you don't have to protect him from me.'

Syvrenn Ta gazed at Qui-Gon long and hard before inclining her head. Her bearing softened.

'Good. I'm too weary to wrestle with your darkness as well as my own.' She paused. 'I came to thank you. Usually, I don't hate or kill. But today I would have done anything to protect my people.' Syvrenn Ta took a deep breath, smoothing her hair away from her eyes. 'Passion is not good for me,' she confessed.

Qui-Gon's answering laughter sounded hollow.

'Show me one person for whom it is.' He reached forward to take the empty cup from the woman's fingers. 'Tell me what you wanted, ma'am.'

'You are the Jedi who had come here the last time, yes?'

'Yes.'

'Do you know what you have left behind?'

Qui-Gon scowled. 'Less peace than I had hoped, obviously.'

Syvrenn Ta's smile was cold. 'The peace lasted a day.'

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's faint amusement through the bond. A heartbeat later, the boy withdrew. _Well,_ _there's at least one reason for Obi-Wan to like the planet, _thought Qui-Gon. Though be it one Delanorian day of peace or ten standard, the Jedi Master had nothing to be proud of.

Syvrenn Ta was examining her hands.

'You have fought, the last time you were here. You have showed your power.' The woman's gaze flickered briefly as she glanced up at Qui-Gon. 'The power is lusted after on Delanor.'

'As it is all over the galaxies,' replied Qui-Gon.

The woman shrugged.

'I don't live on other galaxies. I live here. You left much hatred behind, when you went away. There were people who felt robbed by your interference. There always are. But even simple, ordinary folk couldn't get the idea of power out of their minds.'

Images slammed into Qui-Gon through the suddenly open bond. The Master blinked. Obi-Wan's mental shields had lowered in sleep. Qui-Gon saw the blue and silver shadows of a Delanorian night. A river of torches was converging on Obi-Wan and he. Screams ripped the air in waves of nauseating, boundless hate.

/Padawan?/

The boy muttered something unintelligible and subsided into a troubled sleep.

'It is the planet,' was saying Syvrenn Ta. 'The darkness…'

She told Qui-Gon how the hatred and the lust for a glimpsed power had seduced the people. Villages and towns had joined with the dissident factions. The hatred grew like the night…

'No, like the sun,' Syvrenn Ta corrected herself. 'The midday sun…'

But Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon through him, were plunged into the night, once more.

_What is it? A nightmare?_

Qui-Gon touched the bond, trying to wake Obi-Wan up. The boy was in too deep. A vision, then, not a dream. Aside from barging into his apprentice's room, an act that might give Syvrenn Ta some interesting ideas, Qui-Gon had no choice but to distance himself the best he could. Even so, he was looking through both his and Obi-Wan's eyes.

The woman was speaking of the Delanorian sunshine that lasted for days.

'The people's emotions blazed like that, banishing all reason, restraint and control.'

It was dark in Obi-Wan's vision. They were running. Obi-Wan's braid flew in the wind. They crested a hill. Twisted trees blocked the horizon…

'The government was overthrown.'

Qui-Gon felt torn in two.

/Obi-Wan, awaken!/

His command went unheeded. The boy's roiling emotions gave Qui-Gon pause. If Obi-Wan did not wake soon, Qui-Gon would go to him, the boy's possible anger and Syvrenn Ta's suspicions be damned.

She was still speaking.

'They have cut off the communications and sealed the way off planet. Senator Narb didn't have time to leave. He, the governor, and some others went in hiding. I hope they have survived. So many are dead.'

Qui-Gon had been searching for the information about the political situation on Delanor. If Syvrenn Ta's words were true, and Qui-Gon felt no falsehood in the woman, the Jedi knew that his mission on Delanor had been a failure. And a failure of such magnitude that, for a moment, Qui-Gon could only sit and stare.

'The way off planet was not completely cut,' he managed at last, dryly. 'Delanorians visited us on Coruscant.'

Syvrenn Ta was only mildly surprised. 'I remember the rumors. Some wanted to hunt down that Jedi and destroy everything and everyone he held dear.'

Thus, the attack on Obi-Wan while the boy had looked after the initiates, realized Qui-Gon. Not only his Padawan, the entire Temple had been targeted. Qui-Gon had considered the brief captivity in his own rooms as mostly hilarious. But had Obi-Wan not rescued him then, had he not given Qui-Gon the opportunity to deactivate the bombs, would the Temple still be standing? For the Delanorians were proficient with explosives. Qui-Gon knew it first hand.

The Jedi Master took a steadying breath. Obi-Wan's visions still swam before his eyes. The day and the night, the past and the future, overlaid one another, making Qui-Gon's grip on the reality slip.

'I need to find the governor and the senator,' he said with an effort.

Syvrenn Ta's gruff behavior returned.

'Yes, well. I'll contact my brother.'

The words reached Obi-Wan through the bond. Something in the boy shifted.

'Do you think it wise to implicate more people?' Qui-Gon heard himself ask.

'I'm talking about family.'

Syvrenn Ta's tone of voice closed the discussion. Qui-Gon sat up straighter.

'What means of communication do you have? If I could contact Coruscant, neither you nor your brother will need to get involved.'

Syvrenn Ta rose to her feet.

'Means of communication?' She looked offended. 'Who do you take us for? Some spoiled city folk? No. We'll go by boat, follow the lake, follow the river. Twelve days from now, we'll get to my brother. You two will get along, Jedi. He loves cities.'

Qui-Gon got up. 'If you say so, ma'am,' he murmured, torn between laughter and exasperation.

Syvrenn Ta shook his hand and stomped away. Another image flashed before Qui-Gon. It was too bright and disappeared too fast for him to understand, but Obi-Wan's distress was clear. Qui-Gon headed to the boy's room. He felt Obi-Wan jolt awake.

/They're here!/ screamed the apprentice through the bond, his mind still hazy with sleep.

Qui-Gon's hand was on the door handle when Obi-Wan withdrew from his awareness as if burned. Qui-Gon stopped. He listened to the boy's strained breathing a short distance away. Then Qui-Gon nodded in silent acceptance and took a step back. He was not welcome here. He would respect that.


	17. Chapter 17

I'm sorry for the long wait. The chapter is ready, I think… What I know is that if I wait more to try to improve it, I might not have the courage or the strength or the time to post. So here it is. And here I am, asking for your indulgence.

**Valairy Scot** : Qui-Gon's timing for being respectful is flawed, at best. He's not helping. But he is trying to do what he thinks is best for Obi-Wan.

_I think he needs to talk TO Obi-Wan, if he can't talk WITH him._

Can't talk _with_ him, for sure. And Qui-Gon probably feels he doesn't have the right to talk _to_ Obi-Wan, anymore. The Master has got just as much issues as the apprentice, I guess.

Thank you for such an insightful review. Your comments are a pleasure to read.

**Rangermaid** : These two... are driving me mad, to be honest. So, I kind of share some of that 'pleasure' with the readers :-)

I'm so glad that things are starting to make sense. It's time to meet the brother, now. And I hope the action is to your liking. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 17

They're here

By the time the two boats reached the outskirts of the city, the night had fallen once again. Syvrenn Ta had taken five of her most trusted men with her on the journey, but she went into the city with the Jedi alone. Her brother's home was in a narrow and shadowed street. The tall, lanky man who opened the door stared for a moment, then stepped aside to let them enter.

'My brother, Sarenn Ta. Sirs Mace and Ben Windu,' presented Syvrenn Ta once the door closed behind them.

Her nose wrinkled as she looked around at the piles of boxes, cloth, dishes and rusty tools of uncertain use.

Qui-Gon dipped his head. 'Nice to meet you, sir.'

Sarenn Ta studied the two newcomers with sharp, clear eyes, before turning to his sister.

'Something's missing, Syv. You're not complaining about me living in a junk. You must want something.'

Syvrenn Ta's mouth twitched. 'Didn't feel the need to remind you in front of the guests, is all.'

'Right,' grunted the man. 'What is it this time?'

Syvrenn Ta shot a glance at the Jedi. They were tense and watchful, less then thrilled about disclosing their identity. No gratitude whatsoever. Syvrenn Ta snorted. She was too old to expect much of anyone. And since the Jedi hadn't offered a better plan…

'Sarenn,' she started, 'you are family.'

The man's expression grew wary. He became nervous as Syvrenn Ta's story progressed.

'Jedi?' he exclaimed finally. 'And you bring them here? Are you out of your mind?'

Syvrenn Ta smiled sweetly.

'Sarenn, we only need a communication unit. I've heard everyone in the city had one. And we need to see the governor.'

'Would that be all?'

The man's voice dripped with irony. Syvrenn Ta shook her head.

'Won't call your place a junk, anymore,' she promised with a twinkle in her eye. 'Come on, Sar. Help us out. I know you can arrange something.'

Sarenn turned to the Jedi.

'Where do you want to call?'

'Coruscant,' said Qui-Gon.

The man shook his head.

'Too long a range.' He looked at his sister. 'Why can't you ever want what normal customers do? You know, food, drink.' He glanced at the Jedi. 'A little bit of fun, if you're up for it?'

The three guests stood in the clustered hallway, unimpressed. Sarenn Ta shrugged.

'Right. Forget it. Take them on a stroll, Syv. I'll see you tonight.'

He ducked out the door. Syvrenn Ta turned towards the two Jedi. The boy, Ben, hadn't made a sound during the whole exchange. He had been silent during the boat trip too. The youngster had passed the biggest part of the journey studying the ever fleeting river bank, barely speaking to anyone, even to his teacher. Syvrenn Ta had trusted the big Jedi when he had said he would not harm the boy. Yet the rift between the two was obvious. Syvrenn Ta promised herself to watch them closely, from now on. She had seen too much darkness on Delanor to let her trust blind her.

'Let's go,' she said. 'Sarenn always comes through. If you can too, maybe we'll have peace at last.'

* * *

The blue-silver shadows of the Delanorian night stretched above the little group. Seven men and one woman waited, concealed amidst the high grasses. Syvrenn Ta had brought them all here, to these hilly, windy meadows just outside the town. Her brother had been successful, it would seem. They were waiting for him even now.

Obi-Wan had been grateful for the long Delanorian day. He had felt calm enough while the light lasted. But now that the night had fallen, the memory of the visions haunted him. He didn't have to look at Qui-Gon to feel the Force coil around the Master, ready to spring free at the first sign of danger.

Obi-Wan glanced at the stars that shone between the clouds. He had thought that Delanor would bring them together, Qui-Gon and he. Instead, the planet had torn them apart. The boy shook his head a little. No. No - they have done it to themselves. Maybe he should never have mentioned Tahl again. He had hurt Qui-Gon by bringing her up. He had hurt himself. And now his Master believed that Obi-Wan did not trust him.

_Do I?_

Obi-Wan scowled. Qui-Gon was a Jedi Master. Of course Obi-Wan trusted him!

_Of course_, whispered a thought. _You're blocking the bond by trust, of course._

Obi-Wan lowered his forehead onto his folded arms. The coarse grass scraped at his cheeks. The bond… No, he would not touch it. He was…

_Tired of trusting?_

The boy gritted his teeth.

_Just tired. Of everything._

But he could not lie to himself. He was tired of hurting and of trusting. Must he learn again just how closely related trust and heartache could be? Obi-Wan knew it was not a lesson Qui-Gon would be proud to teach. Neither was it one Obi-Wan cared to learn. Yet what cure was there? Once Qui-Gon's mind was made, the Jedi did not change it lightly. He would get Obi-Wan a new Master. Soon, their bond will be gone as if it had never existed. As if these years of partnership had meant nothing to Master Jinn.

_What if they hadn't? _

Obi-Wan shied away from the answer.

_Stay in the present_, he admonished himself with a bitter smile.

Would being mindful of the Living Force be his future Master's mantra as well? Somehow, Obi-Wan doubted that. He glanced sideways at Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master was studying their surroundings, every little indentation and unevenness in the ground, as if it was a battlefield and their lives depended on it.

'Sarenn won't let me down,' said Syvrenn Ta into the night, not speaking to anyone in particular.

Qui-Gon stirred uneasily. They have left the river and the boats further down. The landscape rose and fell before them. The wind tugged at Obi-Wan's braid. The man felt his breath catch as the sight nudged to life the memory of Obi-Wan's visions. Qui-Gon reached down to put a hand on his Padawan's shoulder. Obi-Wan gazed back with a haunted look.

'Come away,' said Qui-Gon to Syvrenn Ta.

The woman's eyes went round.

'My brother will come, Jedi.'

'Wait for him further away, then.'

'What do you imply? How dare you! He's family.'

Qui-Gon's face seemed carved out from stone and night.

'Does that mean as much to him as it does to you?' he asked.

Syvrenn Ta snarled, but Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan spun away from her.

'They're coming,' whispered Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon turned to the fishermen. 'Run!'

Nobody moved. Breathless with fury, Syvrenn Ta obeyed for the sake of her men. They fled down the hill, towards the river and their hidden boats. The vessels lay sunk, gaping holes visible even in the dimness of the night. Syvrenn Ta's anger bled away. The fishermen stared, unsure what to do.

'Swim!' hissed Qui-Gon. 'Go!'

The woman spun around. 'Who do you think you a…'

Bouncing lights appeared at the top of the mound where they have waited moments ago. Torches were converging on the little group like a river of fire.

'No!' gasped Syvrenn Ta. 'Sarenn wouldn't... He can't.'

Qui-Gon pushed her into the shallow, cold water.

'Go. Now!'

The current was sluggish enough. They all waded in, trying not to look back, not to listen to the screams of hatred that rose behind. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan came last.

Syvrenn Ta dove deep. She had given her trust and Sarenn had brought enemies instead of help. There was peace in silence. There, probably, was peace in death. Sarenn deserved no such sacrifice from her. He didn't deserve her grief. She gave it still, letting her tears mingle with the concealing waters.

They ran, cold and dripping wet, passing like shadows beneath the dark, starless sky. The river had extinguished the torches ; it could not stop the pursuit. Voices rose behind them again. Obi-Wan stumbled. Qui-Gon grasped him in a steadying grip. Twisted trees blocked the horizon. The fugitives crested a hill. A valley before them swarmed with people. Cries of triumph rose from behind. They were answered ahead.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan drew their lightsabers. They gathered the fishermen between them. Obi-Wan protected from the rear, Qui-Gon shielded from the front. They had time for one shallow intake of breath before the attack came. Dark forms hurled themselves forward in a thoughtless, wild way. Screaming, cursing, firing, ripping, clawing, biting.

Qui-Gon reached for the bond. Obi-Wan met him halfway.

/Those are not men!/ cried out the apprentice, thrusting the mental link wide open.

Qui-Gon sent a wordless reassurance. He had no time for more. The Master and the Padawan were used to fight back to back, side by side. They could not do that now. Even so, and despite Obi-Wan's limp, the two Jedi fought better than they ever had. Their connection was such that they moved, felt and thought as one. When Obi-Wan was driven sideways, leaving a flank open, Qui-Gon leapt to close the gap. When Qui-Gon was in need, the Padawan responded, knowing what to do without looking back.

Syvrenn Ta had lost her blaster to the river. She and her men picked up the arms of the fallen enemies.

'Aim away from the Jedi!' the woman shouted.

Qui-Gon smiled despite himself. At least she knew the limitations of her party. The Jedi Master caught sight of Syvrenn Ta's grim, cold face. He hoped that she would not have to confront her brother.

Wave after wave of the attack broke upon the two Jedi, but more men came without pause. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were slowly driven away from each other. Their bond was a living, pulsing warmth. But for how long?

How much more would Obi-Wan be able to hold on? Qui-Gon twisted away from a low shot. A man threw himself on the Jedi Master's lightsaber with a cry. More blaster fire, that Qui-Gon redirected at their owners. The sheer number of the foes was overwhelming. For how much longer could he hold on?

A hot, searing pain burst through the bond.

/Padawan!/ Qui-Gon gasped.

Suddenly, Syvrenn Ta was at his side.

'Go to Ben,' she said. 'Leave them to me.'

Qui-Gon leapt over the melee that separated him from his apprentice. Obi-Wan was still standing, still fighting. But men laughed and jeered, seeing the boy's strength fail. Qui-Gon landed at his side. Obi-Wan gave him a startled look. He deflected one more shot before his legs gave out under him. He hit the ground hard. Qui-Gon whirled, spun, cut through elbows, shins and ribs.

/Padawan, stay with me./

Obi-Wan lay curled around the wound in the stomach. He saw Syvrenn Ta's men go down. A blaster shot found its way through Qui-Gon's defenses, then another. The Jedi staggered and fell. Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

_No._

He heard shouts, a loud commotion. Obi-Wan tried to decipher the words, but the reality blurred and twisted. A weight settled on him. Obi-Wan fought against it with every ounce of energy he had left. Arms circled him.

'Obi-Wan, stop,' breathed a familiar voice.

The boy lifted his eyelids with an effort. Qui-Gon's face hovered above. Obi-Wan shoved him away, but his arms dropped to the ground without strength. Qui-Gon was shielding him with his own body. _Go away! Live!_ wanted to scream Obi-Wan. He managed a harsh croak :

'Don't...!'

'They're here,' said Qui-Gon. 'They've come.'

'Who?'

Qui-Gon smiled. 'The light from your vision.'

A sharp brightness of a starship pierced the night above their heads. Obi-Wan felt numerous presences in the Force.

_Rescue mission. Jedi!_ Obi-Wan's thoughts were short and clear.

The Force sang and hummed. The ship's canons established a safe perimeter. The odds of the battle turned as Jedi Knights leapt down to join the melee.

'Wounded. Both,' said a well-known voice to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's right.

They looked up. Master Windu had come himself? Not only he. Master Yoda appeared at his side.

'Both alive,' said the ancient Jedi, eyes bright and fierce.

Syvrenn Ta crouched before the two men on the ground. 'Mister Windu, are you well?'

Obi-Wan blinked. By the Force, Syvrenn Ta's timing was… impeccable. He would not, must not laugh. It'll hurt too much. Obi-Wan doubted he could have remained upright without Qui-Gon's steadying hand.

'Mister Windu?' repeated Syvrenn Ta.

Above them, the dark skinned Jedi deactivated his lightsaber with exaggerated care. He bent forward to bring his face level with Qui-Gon's.

'Son of a Sith!' Mace Windu growled, before turning on his heels and strolling away.

Laughter ripped through Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon's hand on his forehead was soothing. The boy hoped that Qui-Gon's wounds weren't bad. He had seen the Master go down only moments ago. The pain blossomed in Obi-Wan's stomach. He jerked and moaned through clenched teeth, then lay silent against the man who, now that the Jedi had arrived, would not stay his Master much longer.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Keepers of the light

The fountain near the crèche sparkled with sunlight. The children played close by. Obi-Wan could hear their happy chatter. The Padawan sat in the shadows, his back to the cool stone of the fountain wall. The spring had come to Coruscant. It bloomed, rang with bird songs, shone with the green fire of a newborn leaf. Obi-Wan rested his forehead on his bent knees. He was cold.

Another presence entered the garden. Obi-Wan hugged himself tighter to stave off the chill. It was over, then. He was no longer a Padawan to Master Qui-Gon Jinn.

'It is done?' he asked, looking up.

The sun and the wind played with Qui-Gon's hair.

'Soon,' promised the Jedi Master. 'It will be over soon.'

Obi-Wan gulped in a lungful of cold air and came awake with a start. He lay, dazed, as Qui-Gon's dream voice echoed in his mind : _soon, soon, soon_. Obi-Wan clamped shut the bond, hoping nothing of this had drifted over to his Master.

Colored lights danced across the ceiling and the bare walls of the room. Obi-Wan frowned. Where was he? Coruscant? Delanor? How long had he been asleep?

His wound ached dully. The world tilted sideways when he sat up. Obi-Wan waited for the dizziness to pass, then got to his feet, wincing at the coldness of the floor. Clean clothing lay folded on a chair next to the bed. His boots stood underneath. Obi-Wan dressed, pausing to catch his breath time and again. Finally, exhausted and irritated at his own weakness, he went to the window. Outside sprawled an illuminated garden with a small pond in its middle. Each breath of wind, each tiny wave sent a swirl of light and color curl around the dark-leafed trees. The snow fell in a quiet, shining curtain. The shadows held a velvety softness. A little further away, unseen but felt, the Jedi Knights mounted guard. It was Delanor, then - beautiful, cold, and never peaceful.

Obi-Wan turned away, opened the door and stepped into the corridor. It was colder here. The lights were too harsh. Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. Medical facilities – he would recognize them anywhere by smell alone. Voices murmured around the corner. Qui-Gon's deep timbre made Obi-Wan pause. But he heard Master's Yoda voice and, judging by the clamor that followed, there were many more people.

Obi-Wan almost turned away when he saw the gathering. He had no wish to snoop upon an improvised Jedi Council. Then he recognized Syvrenn Ta in the group, along with her three surviving fishermen. Several other Delanorian men stood nearby. The Jedi were spread out among the columns of the big room. Some sat, some strolled to and fro. Obi-Wan leaned against the far wall.

Qui-Gon stood in the middle of the room.

'I had hoped for a rescue,' he said. 'But I never expected so many to come.' He bowed, his movements stiff. 'You have my gratitude, Masters.'

'The rescue mission would have arrived sooner, were it for anybody else,' replied Master Windu, his arms crossed over his chest.

Qui-Gon took an involuntary step back. Obi-Wan saw that both of them now sported matching limps.

'Don't act so surprised, Master Jinn.' Disapproval colored Mace Windu's cool accent. 'You disappearing without a warning isn't exactly new. We have sent search parties once we've discovered that Padawan Kenobi was missing.'

There was a silence, as if Mace Windu was waiting for Qui-Gon to answer. Qui-Gon did not. Obi-Wan licked his dry lips. He should not have come.

'We tried to contact senator Narb,' continued the councilor, his tone clipped. 'Then we contacted Delanor. The government was unhelpful enough to rouse suspicion. We arrived as fast as we could, after that.'

Qui-Gon bowed again.

'Thank you,' he repeated to all gathered.

Obi-Wan studied the big Jedi with shadowed eyes. He could not see Qui-Gon's face. But it seemed to Obi-Wan that something had dimmed in his Master. As if some inner fire had been extinguished. Where were the defiance, the free spirit, the stubborn will? Qui-Gon was… grieving. Obi-Wan didn't need the bond to recognize the signs. Many Jedi Knights had come to Delanor for the rescue. Had someone close to Qui-Gon been killed?

Syvrenn Ta stepped in front of Mace Windu.

'Jedi,' she said, 'enough.'

Obi-Wan nearly laughed at Master Windu's stunned expression. Syvrenn Ta motioned towards a little group of men that stood apart.

'The governor and the senator are safe, thanks to your warriors. I hear that you, Jedi, are keepers of the peace. Then what about Delanor? What about our people?'

Mace Windu arched an eyebrow.

'The reports are that the population is against both the former government and our involvement. I understand you were helping the two Jedi stranded on Delanor. Yet your own brother, madam, have given them away. Thankfully, we were able to intervene in time. Where is your brother now?'

Obi-Wan saw a stillness spread over Syvrenn Ta's features.

'Dead,' she answered in an even, toneless voice.

Mace Windu frowned. 'Not all the bodies have been identified or recovered yet, madam.'

'I found him. You question my wisdom in trusting him, Jedi Windu. You are right. You question my integrity too. Don't pretend to hide…'

Master Yoda's scratchy voice interrupted the exchange :

'See much and well, you do. Question your integrity we do not. What is it that you wish to ask?'

Syvrenn Ta's hands fell limp at her sides.

'I know that I am not in a position to ask, sir.' She stole a glance at Master Windu, then faced Yoda once more. 'I had hoped that you would grant us help all the same. Despite me. You have great warriors. They can bring peace to our planet.'

Yoda sighed.

'Peace keepers, we are. But what are we to do when the population is against us?'

The question silenced the uneasy room. Yoda's heavy eyelids slid half shut.

'Sorry I am to deny you,' he said. 'But change the hearts and the minds of people, the Jedi can not. Would not!'

Syvrenn Ta stood motionless. For a heartbeat, it seemed she would speak again, but she bowed her head and left the room. The three fishermen followed suit. The discussions about Delanor's future continued, but Obi-Wan had heard enough. He needed to see Syvrenn Ta, to know that the woman who had given shelter to his Master and he was all right. Obi-Wan had almost reached the corridor when Mace Windu spoke once more.

'Master Jinn, my duty is to protect the Order. Your duty to the Order was to protect your apprentice. Young Kenobi may never recover from the wound received on your previous mission together. How dare you place an injured Padawan in such danger?'

Obi-Wan turned around slowly. The councilor was in front of Qui-Gon.

_No,_ pleaded Obi-Wan in silence. _No, I don't want this._

Maybe he was still sleeping. Maybe he could wake up and none of this would be real. But the cold harshness of Master Windu's words was not a dream.

Qui-Gon was slow to answer. Would his Master say nothing at all in his own defense?

'Duty to the Order, Master Windu?' Qui-Gon's voice came low and tired. 'What about my duty towards Obi-Wan? This « injured Padawan » saved the Temple thanks to his insight, faith and trust. The least I could do, was show him the same trust! The Force led us to Delanor.'

Mace Windu shook his head. 'Humble as ever, I see, Master Jinn. And just as blind.'

Obi-Wan jerked when a gimmer stick tapped lightly against his left shin. Yoda had approached without him noticing.

'Worried we were, for both of you,' said the ancient Jedi. 'Missed Qui-Gon Jinn Master Windu, I think.'

The councilor's startled eyes fell on the apprentice.

'Padawan Kenobi…' he said, appalled.

'Berate the boy's Master in front of him you so, Master Windu.' Yoda's mild words carried an unmistakable ring of disapproval.

Qui-Gon started to turn, but Obi-Wan spun away before his Master's gaze could find him. He limped towards the closest door. It opened on the snowy garden. Obi-Wan went, would have run had he been able, without looking back.

Qui-Gon watched him leave. He felt Yoda's surprise and disappointment at the fact that he did not follow. Whatever the reason for Master Windu's presence, Qui-Gon knew that Yoda had come to Delanor for Obi-Wan. The old Jedi had always had a special relationship, somewhat akin to a bond, with the youth. And the vision of Obi-Wan's future was ever present in Qui-Gon's heart. Qui-Gon took a step forward. Ignoring the curious glances and the pull of his wounds, he went on one knee before Yoda.

'May I ask for an audience, my Master?'

* * *

Obi-Wan dared one look back and relaxed a little. No one was following him. He did not have his coat, but the gardens were less cold than he had expected. The trees blocked the wind and most of the snow. It would have been dark if not for the colored lanterns that hung from the branches. The lights became scarcer as Obi-Wan followed the overgrown path. He neared a clearing. Soon, there was no need for the lights at all. A lone, silver haired figure sat cross-legged before three graves. Obi-Wan knelt down in front of Syvrenn Ta. The tombs lay dark between them.

'I am sorry for your men, ma'am.'

'So am I,' answered Syvrenn Ta without looking up.

The names of the two fishermen where engraved with silver letters on their tomb stones. But one grave bore no mark. Only freshly upturned earth, that the snow was covering already, indicated that there was something there at all.

'I could always find him,' murmured Syvrenn Ta.

She didn't say her brother's name. She didn't need to ; Obi-Wan understood. He was a little older, now, than he had been on New Apsolon. But he found himself speechless once again before another's grief. The snowflakes danced and whirled. They became a white, shifting wall - a shroud that opened on a brightness of a time unknown.

Obi-Wan looked down at his hands, extended in a gesture of farewell. The skin was wrinkled, rough and dry. He wasn't young, anymore. The light of the twin suns on the sand was blinding. Dry heat rose from the earth in waves.

_Suns? _Obi-Wan wondered._ Heat?_

The vision overtook him.

His eyes burned. His throat felt raw and painful. There was an ache in his heart as Obi-Wan went to his knees in front of a barely visible mound. He had made it this morning, before sunrise, before the blistering heat. The winds will sweep it away before dusk. The mound was almost gone already. It was fitting. No grave, and no body to lay to rest. Obi-Wan clasped a handful of sand in his fist. He needed to hold on to something, when all signs of his toil would be gone.

_I loved you like a brother. Why could you not trust me?_

He let the bitterness pass like the wind on the bare hills, like the lonely days that trickled away into oblivion, and got to his feet. The light, the suns and the hope lived yet. The Jedi opened his hand, palm up. The grains snaked between his fingers. When there was nothing left but dust, he let his arm fall at his side.

'Your memory is dead to me,' he said, and turned away.

But the grief lived on.

The suns were gone. The chill of the winter breathed in Obi-Wan's face. Syvrenn Ta was kneeling in front of the grave of her brother. She lifted her head with a sigh.

'Go inside,' she said, her voice quiet.

Obi-Wan did not answer. The woman unclasped her coat and thrust it over the graves at him.

'Here, boy. Before you freeze to death.'

'Thank you.'

The garment was soft. Obi-Wan snuggled in and clasped his arms around himself. He seemed unable to warm up, tonight. Syvrenn Ta's grief called to him. But there were no words of reassurance that Obi-Wan could offer. None were necessary, he understood, remembering the heartache of his vision.

'Why are you here, Obi-Wan Kenobi?'

The boy's head shot up. 'You know my real name,' he blurted, then colored with embarrassment. Of course Syvrenn Ta knew. She was not the one who had been unconscious these past days.

'Why have you come?' repeated Syvrenn Ta.

Obi-Wan shrugged.

'I don't know, ma'am. I didn't want you to be alone.'

A ghost of a smile curled the woman's lips.

'What would you know about loneliness, young Jedi?' She seemed to glean the answer even as she spoke. 'Then again, maybe you do. Loneliness is a gift, boy. If you haven't learned it already, you will.'

A chill settled over Obi-Wan. There was no foresight this time, just the visceral knowledge that she had spoken the truth. The man from the vision had wanted to bury his past. His past ; Obi-Wan's future. The boy struggled against a sudden sorrow. Syvrenn Ta watched him, cold and uncaring, worse than a stranger. Qui-Gon had been like that after Tahl's death. Obi-Wan bowed his head. The Force shifted deep within him. He listened. He had learned to listen in the past year, when his injury had disabled him and Qui-Gon had not been there to offer guidance. Had the loneliness been a gift already? Obi-Wan let out a strangled laugh.

'You can destroy yourself,' he said, lifting his eyes to meet the despair that stared him in the face. 'It's not difficult. You only let yourself go. But you are a guide to your people. Will they understand? What if one day you'd want life to matter again? What if you can't forgive yourself, even if your people do?'

Syvrenn Ta pressed her lips together. She moved as if to stand, but remained seated. Her shoulders stooped.

'I'm too old for lectures, boy. And you are too young.' She frowned. 'Way too young to speak as you do. The rift between your teacher and you is not of Delanor's doing, then?'

Syvrenn Ta's sudden, Force driven insight made Obi-Wan's skin crawl. He kept himself from flinching by sheer willpower.

'No, ma'am.'

'Tell me what that illustrious Council of yours has decided.'

'Mine!' exclaimed Obi-Wan in mock offense, relieved at the change in topic. He wished that he could give better news, though. 'The Jedi forces will leave the planet shortly. We will take refugees. But once we're gone, the power will be in the hands of…'

'Those who have held it for the last months,' finished Syvrenn Ta.

'You could come with us. The senator and the governor are preparing to leave with their families as we speak.'

'Rats!' spat Syvrenn Ta.

Obi-Wan cringed. 'They want their children to live.'

'No,' cut the woman coldly. 'They love themselves better then their own world. They run instead of fighting. Again. I will not run, boy.'

Obi-Wan suppressed a shiver. Oh, but the Force was loud tonight!

'No,' he said, 'you will fight. You can sense the darkness that Delanor awakens in your fellow men. If you resist its call yourself, you can help.'

It was Syvrenn Ta's turn to look startled.

'You will stay,' continued Obi-Wan, 'to gather people around you. In the darkest of times, you'll be their keeper of the light. But you'll live in hiding. You'll be an exile in your own home.'

The wind whispered in the silence of the night. The snow had covered the graves. Syvrenn Ta reached out with bare hands to sweep clean the tomb stones. Her gaze lingered on the third, unmarked mound. Obi-Wan tightened the coat around him with stiff fingers. The words had left him raw. Why could he not stop shaking?

Syvrenn Ta leant forward over the graves.

'Keeper of the light,' she said, touching Obi-Wan's shoulder with unexpected gentleness. 'Don't be surprised, child. You see the future. I see the heart. Yet I saw nothing in my brother. Sensed no darkness.'

Obi-Wan sighed. 'Nobody's perfect, ma'am.'

He let his head drop to his chest. He will need to ask Qui-Gon… No. He will need to ask his future Master how to channel the Force during the visions so that he would not feel like a limp, discarded rag doll in the aftermath.

Syvrenn Ta squared her shoulders. A spark of defiance, almost of amusement, lit her eyes.

'Gather people, huh? I hate the cities.'

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, trying to still the chattering of his teeth. The Force flowed in him yet. And his voice, when he answered, was steady.

'No, ma'am, you don't. You very much love to stay in control. It is easier done in a small village. But you don't hate the cities, or the people there.'

Syvrenn Ta stood up. She dusted the snow off her skirts with jerky movements.

'All right, boy. Come inside before you turn blue. Do you think those Jedi of yours will give me the means to contact the Temple? There will be more refugees to evacuate in the months to come.'

Obi-Wan blinked up at her.

'I think so, ma'am,' he murmured around a sudden lump in his throat.

He scrambled to his feet, dazed. Was it Syvrenn Ta's age? Was it her life experience? What gave her the courage to trust again? How could she be so certain that trust and hurt were not one and the same?

They approached the illuminated garden without speaking. Obi-Wan took his leave.

'Qui-Gon loves you, you know,' called Syvrenn Ta after him.

Obi-Wan turned slowly.

'It is not enough, I think.'

The old fierceness returned to Syvrenn Ta. 'It should be! You're like a son to him. It should be enough to mend what was broken.'

Obi-Wan exhaled. He wanted to lie down and sleep for a month.

'I think it's too late, ma'am.'

* * *

'Thank you for such a quick audience, Master Yoda.'

Qui-Gon went to kneel before his former Master's hover chair. Yoda stopped him.

'See you fine from here, I do. See you in more pain, I need not. Speak your piece, Qui-Gon.'

The big Jedi bowed.

'Master, I thought I could mend the rift between Obi-Wan and I. I hoped that I could heal the hurt I have dealt him. But there is no trust left between us.'

Yoda's eyes narrowed. Qui-Gon took a slow breath. It was time. Even though the words tore at his mind and soul, it was time. He willed his voice to remain steady.

'I, Qui-Gon Jinn, revoke my claim on Obi-Wan Kenobi and release him from his oath. He is no longer my Padawan learner. He is free to take another Master.'

* * *

**Rangermaid** : You are right about the end approaching. Next chapter will be the last. But, to alleviate the sadness, it will be long – the longest one of the story. Thank you for your review!

**Valairy Scot** : You're in a cast? Oh. I hope you get better soon. And, as typing is difficult for you, I'll leave a nice long response instead :)

The cavalry to the rescue? LOL. Yes, finally.

As for Yoda being able to sort out all the pain and misunderstanding, he will certainly have his say. Much of it was inspired by your questions and comments, for which I am very, very grateful. But Yoda being able to sort everything out? No, I'll leave that 'privilege' to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. To succeed or to fail will be entirely up to them.

Thank you for reviewing!


	19. Chapter 19

**Valairy Scot** : Thank you for such heartfelt words. «Memories of life as seen from the shadows.» You brought tears to my eyes, you know.

Ah, the hint about the spring. Well, it is time to see if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can answer your hope for forgiveness.

Valairy Scot, your questions and comments helped shape much of this chapter. Thank you! Thank you so much.

**Rangermaid** : «Why must the good die young?»

Young? You mean the story? The 131 pages story, that initially was supposed to be 4 or 5 chapters long?

LOL! This fic certainly isn't that young, but I thank you for the compliment.

«I think it's time these two thick heads came to a realization. :)»

Yes. Yes, it is time.

Thank you for reviewing. Thank you for staying with the story!

Chapter 19

The Master and the Apprentice

'Revoke your claim?' croaked Yoda. 'Free to take another Master, Obi-Wan is? Explain yourself you will, Master Jinn.'

The ancient Jedi hopped down from his chair with such vigor that Qui-Gon took a step back.

'Master Yoda, the boy needs a better teacher in order to reach knighthood.'

Yoda's stick cracked against the hard floor. Qui-Gon straightened instinctively. In a far away corner of his mind, the Padawan he had been cringed at his Master's displeasure.

'My ears are fine, Master Jinn. Repeat me not what I already heard.' Yoda motioned towards a stool near the fireplace. 'Sit,' he said, 'and speak.'

Qui-Gon obeyed. Except for Yoda's hover chair, every other furniture in the room was, thankfully, of a normal size. Qui-Gon welcomed the warmth of the fire.

'I'll speak, my Master. Forgive me if I cannot give an answer that you wish to hear. I am unfit to train Obi-Wan any longer. The trust is gone between us. I threw it away. Obi-Wan Kenobi needs a new, a better Master.'

Yoda looked surprised and saddened.

'Your Padawan's wish this is, Qui-Gon? Your Padawan's words?'

'His wish, it certainly is and should be. Obi-Wan had had the delicacy to not spell it out loud.'

'Ah. The delicacy.' Yoda's eyes turned to slits. 'We'll forgo the delicacy in this case.'

'Master Yoda, Obi…'

'Master Jinn,' cut Yoda in a grating, cold voice. 'The Master-Padawan bond is either destroyed or not. Yours is not. Bring me an answer as to why. Give you permission to disown your apprentice before that, I do not.'

Qui-Gon lowered his head into his hands. For so long he hadn't wanted to take another apprentice. He had promised himself that Xanatos would be his last. For Obi-Wan's sake, Qui-Gon wished he could have held to this resolution. Now, he had a Padawan who shunned their mind bond. A Padawan who no longer wished him as a Master. Such a fitting reversal of roles. Qui-Gon massaged his temples in an absent-minded, distracted manner.

'We'll talk, Obi-Wan and I, when we are both stronger.'

'Good,' Yoda replied, climbing back into his chair.

Qui-Gon glanced up. 'May I ask a question, Master?'

'A bantha head, you have, Qui-Gon. Harsh I am with you, sometimes.' A smile gentled the ancient Jedi's eyes. 'But refuse you an answer I will not, Padawan mine. Ask.'

Qui-Gon stood up. He reached Yoda in two strides and knelt down. Yoda frowned, sensing the pain of the man's injuries flare. But he did not prevent the gesture this time.

'Master,' Qui-Gon said, keeping his eyes on the floor. He shifted, uncomfortable. His hands clenched. 'Master, we have spoken during the last year. Not often, but we did speak. You have summoned me when Obi-Wan had been in need on Melida/Daan. Why not this time? I would have returned sooner had I known he was unwell.'

'Would you have? Yes,' Yoda murmured after a time, 'maybe so. Trust you I can to do your duty. But I needed to see if you cared. If do the right thing for your Padawan you would.'

A lifeless smile twisted Qui-Gon's face.

'You have given me a chance to fail, and I have. Maybe you shouldn't have been so persistent about me training Obi-Wan in the first place, Master.'

Yoda bent towards his former student. Qui-Gon saw compassion in the green gaze.

'Failed you have not entirely, yet. But easier it would have been, for Obi-Wan and you, had you returned sooner.'

Qui-Gon's face grew tight with pain.

'I will do what is right by him, now.'

'So sure you are of what is right. Be careful not to do wrong.'

Qui-Gon's hands uncurled and lay sweaty and limp on his thighs.

'Master, will you take Obi-Wan?'

'No.'

The man started at the clear, cutting finality of the refusal.

'But… But you two share a connection, Master.'

'As I share a connection with every living Jedi. Different this is not!' countered Yoda when Qui-Gon drew a breath to object.

Qui-Gon sat back on his heels. 'Why not?' he whispered, his expression open, unguarded with shock.

'Too old I am for Obi-Wan.'

Yoda paused, ready to chastise away a new interruption. But Qui-Gon knelt unmoving at his old Master's feet. He contradicted no more. Yoda's heavy eyelids drooped.

'Different your Padawan's path will be,' he said, poking a clawed finger at the man's chest. 'Different teaching he needs. I've led the Jedi Order for centuries. Too old I am, to seek different ways.'

'Different,' Qui-Gon echoed, weary, but without regret. 'And you suppose I am that?'

'You are,' agreed Yoda. 'Good for the Order you are.'

The man snorted.

'The Order needs me not!'

Yoda's stick came down hard on the floor beside Qui-Gon's boot. Qui-Gon scowled.

'Doubt my word, do you? Sprouted more insight than your Master since last we met, have you, Master Jinn?'

The Jedi on the floor grimaced.

'No, Master. Forgive me.'

Yoda's voice gentled.

'Mix up the Order and the Council, you should not. Agreed we are? Keep the boy you will?'

Qui-Gon glanced up.

'No,' he said, as calm and definitive as Yoda had been moments before. 'I will do what I can for Obi-Wan. But I cannot remain his teacher.'

Qui-Gon was surprised when the dormant, half-forgotten bond of his padawan days glowed to life. It had been many years since Yoda had touched his thoughts and his heart in this manner. Qui-Gon swallowed a sudden lump when Yoda put a light, dry hand on his hair.

'Wounded you are, Qui-Gon. Limping through your life have you been since Xanatos. More so since Tahl. Heal you must. Find the strength, young one. Heal your heart. May the Force be with you.'

Qui-Gon's arms twisted around his middle. He tried to speak, and could not. The unexpected, unasked for kindness had struck him like a vibroblade through the chest. Qui-Gon bent double, breath coming in shallow gasps. He pressed his forehead against the floor. Dimly, through the rushing of blood in his ears, he heard Yoda exit the room.

* * *

Two days later, the Jedi were leaving Delanor.

'Will you return, once this madness is over?' Syvrenn Ta asked Obi-Wan by way of a goodbye.

Obi-Wan smiled. 'I'd love to, ma'am.'

'But you know that you won't,' the woman said, completing Obi-Wan's unspoken thought. They embraced. 'Take care, child. You too, Jedi Jinn,' she added at Qui-Gon's approach.

'Thank you, ma'am,' the Master and the apprentice answered in unison.

Obi-Wan looked away. Qui-Gon cleared his throat.

'We might not have survived without you,' he said after a pause. 'I wish we could do more. Syvrenn Ta, are you sure you want to stay?'

'This is my home. There are others here like me, Qui-Gon Jinn. I am not alone. And neither are you.'

The Jedi Master bowed, his expression neutral. 'Contact us, if ever you have need. Be careful. Be well.'

A short while later, aboard, no one had noticed, or, at least, no one had commented on the strange behavior of Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan. On a ship with rooms allotted specifically to Master-Padawan teams, the Master and the apprentice had taken separate cabins.

They reached Coruscant a few days later.

The Masters went straight from the starship to the council room. Obi-Wan lingered in the gardens. He was not summoned to report, and the familiar places called to him. Here, by the pond, Bant and he had dreamt about having a Master. Obi-Wan crouched down by the bank. He remembered they had discussed philosophy here one day. And the day after, the theory and strategies of peace negotiations learned in class. Oh, they had talked for hours, reveling in the importance of the subject, feeling all grown up. How innocent they had been. Obi-Wan straightened up. The innocence and the childhood had left together, hand in hand. On whatever war torn planet Bant was now with her new Master, Obi-Wan wished her well.

He followed the well known paths as though in a dream. His steps slowed near the crèche. The children played in the distance. Obi-Wan listened to their clear, happy calls. Will they too wander in the shadows, someday, in search of who they once had been? May they succeed then where he could not. Obi-Wan collapsed on the ground, his back to the fountain wall. Behind and above him, the waters danced in the sunlight. The boy drew his knees to his chest. It was time to wake up.

* * *

'Lost a planet, Master Jinn has.'

Qui-Gon winced. His mission to Delanor had been a failure of epic proportions. For some reason, Yoda's choice of words aroused sympathy among the council members. Qui-Gon gritted his teeth, ignoring the compassionate glances. Yes, he had failed. But, in the end, he had only been a catalyst. The stain had been spreading over Delanor long before his arrival. Without him, the malevolence would have found another outlet. The people would have taken another shortcut towards their own darkness.

'The Jedi will remain in touch with Delanor. The planet's potential for darkness must be kept under surveillance,' decreed Master Windu. 'The woman, Syvrenn Ta, will receive our full support.'

Qui-Gon's lips twitched. Syvrenn Ta was the Jedi's only link to the planet's pulse. She was also, at least as long as she remained alive, a beacon of hope for the Delanorians who favored the light. Such a change for one who, not long ago, had cared only for her village. Obi-Wan should probably be thanked for that transformation. Syvrenn Ta and he had spoken often during the last days on the planet.

The Council dismissed Qui-Gon, but the Force called him to his apprentice. If Obi-Wan was ready to take another Master, Qui-Gon would have to be ready to let him go. The Jedi Master smirked mirthlessly.

'Fool!' he said out loud.

The empty corridor didn't mind.

The Jedi reached the crèche level. He navigated between the children, pushed the garden doors open and stopped. The fountain sparkled and sang. Its mist gave birth to rainbows. The nearby greenery burst with life. Only Obi-Wan, huddled in the shadows, hugging his knees to his chest, seemed out of place. The boy looked cold, frozen inside. Like he had been upon Qui-Gon's return to the Temple several months ago.

The Master went still. A part of him hoped that the frost was due to Delanor, that it would melt with time. Qui-Gon shook his head. Who was he trying to fool? Obi-Wan had grown steadily better on Delanor. The snowy planet was never to blame. The fault lay with Qui-Gon himself. The man took a step forward. Ready or not, he will do what he must. He will set the boy free.

Obi-Wan looked up. Qui-Gon saw dread flash across his face.

'It is over, then?' asked the apprentice.

Qui-Gon smiled in reassurance as he settled cross-legged in front of the boy.

'Yes, Obi-Wan. Soon you will be able to learn from a new Master.'

Obi-Wan's gaze slipped away.

'You have promised not to cast me out.' His voice came in a whisper, but the words gained in strength as he continued. 'I might be a cripple, but I can still become a Jedi. I will, if the Council lets me.'

Qui-Gon stared, then shook himself.

'You will. I have no doubt about it or about you. Obi-Wan, will you not look at me?'

The apprentice pressed his lips together, but obeyed. Qui-Gon took a deep breath.

'Obi-Wan, it has been a joy, a privilege to teach you.'

The boy's laughter was a hurt, disbelieving sound.

'Yes, Master. The time on Melida/Daan when I've turned my back on you and the Jedi Order has been such a joy.'

'Learning is never easy. But all of us do learn.' Qui-Gon's quiet words contrasted with Obi-Wan's bitterness. 'I want you to become the Jedi that you were born to be, Obi-Wan.'

'Don't!'

The plea took Qui-Gon by surprise and shook him to the core. He hadn't expected Obi-Wan to be overjoyed by the conversation. But Qui-Gon had believed that the boy wanted out of the apprenticeship. Oh, Force! If he was wrong, he'd wound Obi-Wan deeply by disowning him. Qui-Gon straightened his shoulders with an effort.

'Obi-Wan, I want what is best for you. A new Master, that will not fail or abandon you. And a new, a better bond.'

Obi-Wan's hands twitched.

'I can open ours, if you want.'

Qui-Gon sighed. 'I believe the question is what do you want.' He waited for an answer, but none was forthcoming. 'Our bond is not the problem, Obi-Wan. I've heard you quite clearly on Delanor.'

Obi-Wan gave him a blank look. Qui-Gon's fists clenched. He folded his hands in the wide sleeves of his cloak.

'We were talking before the attack on Syvrenn Ta's village. Remember?'

Obi-Wan hissed unhappily. He had called Qui-Gon 'father', had blurted about love and then had dared mention Tahl. That disaster of a conversation was hard to forget.

'I remember your thoughts about New Apsolon,' said Qui-Gon. 'You were right, Obi-Wan. I did show you that love, attachment and darkness were one and the same. I can only repeat what I have told you then. When a Master teaches lessons such as these, he fails. You need…'

Obi-Wan turned on Qui-Gon with a fury born out of despair.

'No! I don't need. If the lesson was wrong, then teach me better. Show me better, Qui-Gon!'

Qui-Gon was taken aback. Teach better? He had been a Master for almost half his life. The teacher in him could not deny the Padawan's request. But show better? The man released his breath in one long sigh. Maybe now, more than a year and a half later, he could.

'Obi-Wan, there was much attachment and passion, and very little love in me during our stay on New Apsolon. Attachment is no love. Passion is no love. I let my emotions rule me and lost myself in the process. I lost you. You could not remain my Padawan on New Apsolon, Obi-Wan. I was not a Master there, hardly a Jedi.'

The boy's mouth hung open. Not a Master… What?

'Master Windu thought that you had severed the bond,' Obi-Wan whispered. 'Did you?'

'No. The Force had dampened it down until… Until I was myself again'

The apprentice frowned, struggling to understand.

'Then… you are a Master again now?'

'Yes, for what it's worth.'

'My Master?'

'For what it's worth, Obi-Wan.'

The sun-filled garden swam before Obi-Wan's eyes. The boy started to shake.

'You left. And then it hurt. It burned, tore and hurt. Did you know it would hurt like that? Did you even feel anything?'

'Yes, Obi-Wan. I felt. I thought it was me - the grief… I did not realize what had happened to our bond until I've returned to the Temple and talked to the healers.'

'You have talked to the healers?'

'Yes. You thought I wouldn't?'

Obi-Wan looked at him in silence. Qui-Gon understood.

'You didn't think I'd care enough,' he stated, his voice going very soft.

Obi-Wan forced himself to breathe slowly. An image came to him. Obi-Wan saw Qui-Gon wander the streets of New Apsolon, grieving, bearing the pain of their damaged bond as well, with no healers to help him through. _He brought it upon himself_, whispered a thought. But the bitterness and the hurt were ebbing away.

'So this is why the Council did not assign me another Master. We had an unfinished business together.' Obi-Wan's smile was flat. 'You didn't know that. I didn't know that. You have accepted solo missions far from Coruscant. Why did you choose to return?'

Qui-Gon didn't answer. Obi-Wan looked at him with tired, beseeching eyes.

'Please, Qui-Gon. Why did you return?'

Qui-Gon had wished to apologize for the rejection and the pain he had dealt his apprentice. He had prayed for his apologies to be accepted. Now, all he had to do was open his mouth and let the words fix everything. It was the right time, too. The boy all but begged him to make amends.

But how could mere words mend anything? No, he hadn't been a Master, after New Apsolon. Qui-Gon remembered little of the first three months that had followed Tahl's death. He hadn't killed in rage. He hadn't shed any blood. And yet what he did was almost worst. He had let himself go adrift until his own name held little meaning. For a time, he had been hardly a man.

The thoughts of Obi-Wan, his Padawan, had kept calling him back. The boy needed him. And Qui-Gon needed Obi-Wan. A teacher without an apprentice, a man without a purpose, he was…

_Selfish_, supplied a part of himself that Qui-Gon greeted with a scowl of recognition.

It had taken him weeks, months to crawl back to life. Months of wading through his own darkness, searching the wreckage for a hint of the man he had used to be. The Force had helped. And so did the Council or, rather, Yoda. The assignments, when they had come, were oh so very carefully chosen. Even Delanor, the first time around, had been a dull experience. Still, the missions had given Qui-Gon an occupation and a purpose. He had rebuilt his foundations slowly, carefully, so that they would not shatter again. So that he could return…

But that was a tale for another time. Qui-Gon would not burden Obi-Wan with those memories now. Maybe never. Master Yoda had been right to request that they speak, Obi-Wan and he. Qui-Gon had come intending to end their partnership. He realized that that decision belonged to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan felt a coiling in the elder Jedi, as if Qui-Gon was gathering himself. Almost like a warrior, collecting, steeling himself for… what?

'I have treated you ill, Padawan. I have hurt and abandoned you. I've been trying to figure out the right moment to apologize. To find the right words. There aren't any. We have, as you have put it, an unfinished business between us. Do you wish it to end?'

Obi-Wan stared in silence. Sadness radiated from Qui-Gon in waves, but the man's smile remained gentle. Was Qui-Gon expecting Obi-Wan to reject him on the spot?

Qui-Gon looked Obi-Wan over, as if memorizing his face, his stance, the way his eyes changed color when the sun lit them at just the right angle.

_Heal your heart_, whispered Yoda's voice in his mind.

Something gave way in Qui-Gon.

'Child,' he said with such tenderness that Obi-Wan dropped his gaze, swallowing tears. 'Child, can you forgive me?'

The apprentice sat up straight.

'I cannot,' he answered in a clear, ringing voice.

Yes, Qui-Gon had been prepared for the rejection. Obi-Wan watched the careful way the man collected himself, the taut line of his shoulders, the shaded eyes.

The Master inclined his head. 'It is well, Obi-Wan. I will notify the Council.'

The boy's voice rang out again.

'I cannot give you something you already have, my Master. I saw your face when you have found me here that first day after your return. I forgave you then. To release my anger proved more difficult. But I don't need, I don't want another Master.'

Qui-Gon passed an unsteady hand over his face. 'Well.' He cleared his throat. 'I deserved worse.'

'Not from me, Master. Never from me.'

The joy inside Obi-Wan's chest sparkled and shone like the sun-filled fountain. The spring had come! How could he have missed it? Unable to contain himself, the boy sprang to his feet. He darted towards the doors that swung open before he could reach them.

'Padawan!' called out Qui-Gon in warning.

He saw his apprentice dash headlong into Master Mace Windu.

Obi-Wan staggered back with a strangled gasp. He scrubbed the tears from his cheeks.

'I… It's…'

The intensity of the dark Jedi's gaze silenced him.

Mace Windu took the boy by the shoulders, looked him over, then sent him on his way with a nod. Obi-Wan rushed into the hall. Qui-Gon followed at a slower pace.

'Kenobi's limp is gone,' remarked Master Windu in his calm, measured tones. 'Your Padawan is healed.'

Qui-Gon inclined his head. 'Master Yoda was right about Obi-Wan.'

The councilor lifted an eyebrow.

'He's always right, Qui-Gon. You should know that.'

A strange gleam lit Qui-Gon's eyes. He took one step forward and enfolded the other man in his arms.

'Do forgive me, my friend!'

'Are you mad?' inquired Mace Windu in his most civil voice.

Qui-Gon squeezed tighter and pounded him on the back for good measure. 'I assure you, no. The pain I've caused you was entirely unintentional.'

'You've caused no pain, yet. If you don't let go, the pain I'll cause you will be intentional. Entirely.'

Qui-Gon stepped back with a chuckle. 'Missed me you did, hmm? Just like my old Master said? Back am I now, Master Windu. Here to stay.'

The dark skinned Jedi spun on his heels.

'Force help us!' he growled, strolling down the corridor.

Obi-Wan's laughter sounded from further away. A crèche Master approached the councilor.

'Has the boy gone mad?' she asked. 'He's been with us for a year and he never… He's…'

The woman faltered when Qui-Gon's tall figure appeared beside Mace Windu.

'Considering the boy's Master,' replied the councilor, studying Qui-Gon from head to toe, 'I'd say Padawan Kenobi has just gone back to normal.'

The woman stuttered her thanks and hurried away. Master Windu left the crèche with a ghost of a smile on his lips. Qui-Gon followed the delighted whoops of the children. There was his wayward apprentice, kneeling between the crèchlings, smiling, letting himself be smothered and welcomed back. A toddler crawled into Obi-Wan's lap, another tugged at his braid. Obi-Wan hugged three boys at the same time. His laughter sprang forth like a wild, bright light. Qui-Gon folded his arms across his chest and leaned in the doorway, happy to watch. Happy to be alive.

Later, when the Master and the Padawan made their way together to Qui-Gon's quarters, they were welcomed with the sight of dust and gloom. Qui-Gon turned on the lights and crossed the living room towards his favorite chair. He settled down with a satisfied sigh.

Obi-Wan gazed at the Jedi sprawled among the grime. Had Qui-Gon missed the chair _that_ much?

'Home,' said Qui-Gon in a tired, grateful whisper.

Obi-Wan's amusement faded. There was a deeper pain in Qui-Gon that he didn't understand. Or maybe he did. He felt at home for the first time in almost a year and a half. Could it be the same for Qui-Gon? Obi-Wan settled on the floor beside his Master. He bit his lower lip, suddenly shy, as he opened the bond. Qui-Gon's hand came to rest on his head. Obi-Wan felt peace, but weariness in the older man. He tilted his face up, letting the warm, big hand slide to his shoulder.

'Master, is everything all right?'

Qui-Gon's eyes were closed.

'Everything, Padawan.'

'Master?'

'Hmmm?'

'I still haven't used your leave to sulk.'

Qui-Gon's answer came two heartbeats later.

'True.'

'I've been thinking. Do you mind if I sulk full time for the rest of my apprenticeship?'

'Only if you don't mind being trained by a Sith, Padawan.'

Obi-Wan sat up straight.

'But Master!' he protested, all innocence. 'I thought I already was.'

Qui-Gon rose to his feet in one swift, graceful motion. He stretched, looked down into the smiling, beloved face, and held out his hand.

'All right, Padawan. I'm awake. Let's move your things back, shall we?'

_**End**_

Dear, dear readers, it is time for me to bow and take my leave. Thank you for reading. A big, a huge thank you for reviewing. It has been a joy to hear from you.

For the reviews for this last chapter, if I cannot reach you via this site, please look out for the replies on my profile page.

Thank you, everyone! May you have a wonderful spring, a beautiful summer and a year full of peace and joy.


End file.
